We should all be so fortunate to have a Chris, or more of those good folks, in our lives. They are bed rock solid, as dependable as a new day, have carved out a life for themselves by serving others, and have stories worth hearing and repeating. These are the people who restore our faith in humanity, some whom we see often and have no idea of their story. That's why it's worth telling and sharing. Thank you!
Thank you, Gary. This work -- I'll call it a privilege -- is what Brandon Stanton mastered in his Humans of New York books, and Garrison Keillor in News from Lake Wobegon, and the producers of This American Life. And I know that's only a few. I also know my reach isn't the same, but we do what we can. As I know you do as well, I maintain that there is goodness everywhere just waiting to be discovered. Super grateful to have you with me on that journey.
A friend of mine returned recently from a 3-year journey in his RV around the United States visiting some marginalized communities and people and getting their stories. Grant Lichtman's blog is called "Wisdom Road" and his book will be out soon.
There are many good people with good stories to share and it's up to you, and people like us, to share those stories with others. My hope is that people will learn we're all part of the same fabric and contribute to this tapestry of life that is so colorful and vibrant.
Oh...Gary! Thank you for sharing about your friend. I read through the landing page on Grant's blog and felt tears welling up. I love that the focus of his work is schools. You and I, and he and so many others, are clearly committed to the same bold idea (I'll not call it an ideal, because that somehow makes it less accessible): That we can find our way back. Or maybe that we aren't actually lost. Maybe all that we want is still here, we just have to give it a chance to be heard again. Here, and in my non-virtual realms, I see confirmation of that idea over and over, so I KNOW it's there.
Living in a rural community on The Eastern Shore and working in outpatient rehab, I had the privilege of meeting and hearing the stories of "essential" members of my community. Their stories remain engraved within me, more so than the "celebrities" and "notables" I met or treated. They helped me to embrace authenticity in my daily interactions. I feel such gratitude...
I love this, Susan, and think your use of the word 'authenticity' is key. We are navigating life surrounded by an ethos of narcissism. "What's in it for ME!?" It's so refreshing, and I dare say necessary, to connect with those who have managed to keep themselves from being infected. I'm definitely grateful for your presence here.
What stands out for me is Chris's relationship with his mother. My brother has a developmental disability that makes him unable to live independently. He currently lives in a community-based home for adults with such disabilities, but my parents--especially my mother--is his protector. He in non-verbal, and she sees him like no one else does, and is the first to notice when something isn't right for Joe. She is 81 now, and she's still providing some of his basic physical care, and one of my biggest fears for him is how it will be when she is no longer here, no longer able to care for him. This one hit close to home.
Rita, this is a lot to consider, and I'm sure it weighs heavily on you. I know there are agencies and laws designed to help, but like asking nurses to advocate for an ill patient while you step away, they can only do so much. What is your parents' approach? It's great that your mom is so on the ball still, but she also must fret about this. Have you all had any productive succession plan discussions? I'm sure there are many readers who share related challenges. Thanks for sharing this part of your story. Hugs!
There are agencies and laws and services (though not enough), and like you say--they can only do so much. My brother has autism (far over on the spectrum) and likely other non-diagnosed issues. (He wasn't even diagnosed with autism until his early 20's. It's a much different world now than in our childhood.) He is extremely rigid about many things, including who he will allow to help him. Yes, we all fret about what's coming. My parents are doing all that they can while they can, and looping me in more and more so that I'm informed about care/challenges to care. (They worked with other aging parents in their community to create and run the community home; there just weren't facilities for DD adults in their area.) So, our situation is different from Chris's in important ways, but there are common threads. It hurt to read his words about having to rely on himself. I wish that our country did a better job of supporting folks who fall outside of our perceived norms.
Our country does a lot of things well, and has, in our lifetimes, improved dramatically. But in other areas it's stood still or even gone backwards. Health care, particularly mental health care, is one of those areas, and it's HUGE. I know Universal Healthcare isn't a panacea, but what we have now can't be sustainable either. At least in so far as actually providing care for more than the wealthy.
I'm sorry they needed to, but I love that your parents helped start that community home!
Thanks, Beth. I can honestly say I never anticipated all the layers that revealed themselves with Chris. And you are 100% right: everyone has their own version. How much it would help us to remember that when we come up against someone who rubs us the wrong way?!
I like the humble, quiet ones. They're the salt of the earth, the oil that eases the gears in the Earth's turning. Good people. I wish there were more of them.
Best wishes to a lovely man and thank you for telling his story so simply.
Somehow this brings Horton Hears a Who to mind, Prue.
"'Believe me,’ said Horton, ‘I tell you sincerely, my ears are quite keen and I heard [them] quite clearly. I *know* there’s a person down there. And, what’s more, quite likely there’s two. Even three. Even four.‘”
Telling Chris's story is the least I can do. Thank you for reading and appreciating it. <3
I loved this profile and getting to know Chris, Elizabeth. So many wonderful lines and points of perspective. I really appreciate that your delivery is really neutral, too. This really struck me in one particular spot, something that was left, as he shared it.... Beautifully done. I love that you take time to learn and listen to these stories and then share them.
Thank you, Amy. You are a keen observer. I have a strong tendency to layer my own perceptions and lessons onto everything. And while I think that's human nature, with a place and purpose for me, in this instance, I felt Chris should stand on his own. I really appreciate knowing that it read that way for you.
I wonder how many of us have known someone for days and weeks and years and never stopped to ask the questions needed to paint this kind of portrait. Love this and love how much thought and care went into its creation!
I think that's the norm, really. It's a matter of time and trust, neither of which can be taken lightly. I'm lucky that there was enough of both in this instance. It means a lot, though, for you to acknowledge the effort and the value, for consideration across all of our interactions. More than anything, I'm glad you loved it. Love being a pretty great anchor for pretty much everything, that is. 😊
What a wonderful profile, Elizabeth. I very much enjoyed “ meeting” Chris. His relationship with his mom, his clarity and openness came through so beautifully. Thank you for sharing him.
Ah, clarity. I'm thrilled and relieved to know you saw that. I wanted so much to do that part of him justice. Thanks for taking part in the meet-up, Holly. 😊
My goodness. What gifts. Three of them: 1) the gift of getting to know someone like Chris, who is everywhere in many forms 2) the gift of your essay (and the gifts you got in spades to meet people with gentle, genuine curiousity) and 3) the gift of all these comments, how your stories make us think and invite us to share. Thank you thank you thank you.
Stewart, it is such a pleasure to connect with your and others' thinking. That is a significant part of why I write here! Grateful for your time and attention, and for such a generous comment.
Oh, gosh, wow. Thank you so much for introducing me to Chris - what a fascinating guy; a great story - so much heart, soul, life, history - ahhhhhhhhhhhh! I adore every post in this series. A sheer treat of a read, Elizabeth. xxx
I'm not sure if that "ahhh" is a squeal or a sigh, but I'll take either as a sign of having done right by Chris. :) Thanks so much for reading, commenting, and appreciating what he has to offer our world.
We should all be so fortunate to have a Chris, or more of those good folks, in our lives. They are bed rock solid, as dependable as a new day, have carved out a life for themselves by serving others, and have stories worth hearing and repeating. These are the people who restore our faith in humanity, some whom we see often and have no idea of their story. That's why it's worth telling and sharing. Thank you!
Thank you, Gary. This work -- I'll call it a privilege -- is what Brandon Stanton mastered in his Humans of New York books, and Garrison Keillor in News from Lake Wobegon, and the producers of This American Life. And I know that's only a few. I also know my reach isn't the same, but we do what we can. As I know you do as well, I maintain that there is goodness everywhere just waiting to be discovered. Super grateful to have you with me on that journey.
A friend of mine returned recently from a 3-year journey in his RV around the United States visiting some marginalized communities and people and getting their stories. Grant Lichtman's blog is called "Wisdom Road" and his book will be out soon.
There are many good people with good stories to share and it's up to you, and people like us, to share those stories with others. My hope is that people will learn we're all part of the same fabric and contribute to this tapestry of life that is so colorful and vibrant.
Oh...Gary! Thank you for sharing about your friend. I read through the landing page on Grant's blog and felt tears welling up. I love that the focus of his work is schools. You and I, and he and so many others, are clearly committed to the same bold idea (I'll not call it an ideal, because that somehow makes it less accessible): That we can find our way back. Or maybe that we aren't actually lost. Maybe all that we want is still here, we just have to give it a chance to be heard again. Here, and in my non-virtual realms, I see confirmation of that idea over and over, so I KNOW it's there.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful essay. It made my day.
Ahh, Rob. This really makes MY day. Thank you for reading and commenting!
Living in a rural community on The Eastern Shore and working in outpatient rehab, I had the privilege of meeting and hearing the stories of "essential" members of my community. Their stories remain engraved within me, more so than the "celebrities" and "notables" I met or treated. They helped me to embrace authenticity in my daily interactions. I feel such gratitude...
I love this, Susan, and think your use of the word 'authenticity' is key. We are navigating life surrounded by an ethos of narcissism. "What's in it for ME!?" It's so refreshing, and I dare say necessary, to connect with those who have managed to keep themselves from being infected. I'm definitely grateful for your presence here.
What stands out for me is Chris's relationship with his mother. My brother has a developmental disability that makes him unable to live independently. He currently lives in a community-based home for adults with such disabilities, but my parents--especially my mother--is his protector. He in non-verbal, and she sees him like no one else does, and is the first to notice when something isn't right for Joe. She is 81 now, and she's still providing some of his basic physical care, and one of my biggest fears for him is how it will be when she is no longer here, no longer able to care for him. This one hit close to home.
Rita, this is a lot to consider, and I'm sure it weighs heavily on you. I know there are agencies and laws designed to help, but like asking nurses to advocate for an ill patient while you step away, they can only do so much. What is your parents' approach? It's great that your mom is so on the ball still, but she also must fret about this. Have you all had any productive succession plan discussions? I'm sure there are many readers who share related challenges. Thanks for sharing this part of your story. Hugs!
There are agencies and laws and services (though not enough), and like you say--they can only do so much. My brother has autism (far over on the spectrum) and likely other non-diagnosed issues. (He wasn't even diagnosed with autism until his early 20's. It's a much different world now than in our childhood.) He is extremely rigid about many things, including who he will allow to help him. Yes, we all fret about what's coming. My parents are doing all that they can while they can, and looping me in more and more so that I'm informed about care/challenges to care. (They worked with other aging parents in their community to create and run the community home; there just weren't facilities for DD adults in their area.) So, our situation is different from Chris's in important ways, but there are common threads. It hurt to read his words about having to rely on himself. I wish that our country did a better job of supporting folks who fall outside of our perceived norms.
Our country does a lot of things well, and has, in our lifetimes, improved dramatically. But in other areas it's stood still or even gone backwards. Health care, particularly mental health care, is one of those areas, and it's HUGE. I know Universal Healthcare isn't a panacea, but what we have now can't be sustainable either. At least in so far as actually providing care for more than the wealthy.
I'm sorry they needed to, but I love that your parents helped start that community home!
Thank you. Everyone has a story. Dear soul. A moving read. Thanks.
Thanks, Beth. I can honestly say I never anticipated all the layers that revealed themselves with Chris. And you are 100% right: everyone has their own version. How much it would help us to remember that when we come up against someone who rubs us the wrong way?!
Thanks for chiming in here.
I like the humble, quiet ones. They're the salt of the earth, the oil that eases the gears in the Earth's turning. Good people. I wish there were more of them.
Best wishes to a lovely man and thank you for telling his story so simply.
Somehow this brings Horton Hears a Who to mind, Prue.
"'Believe me,’ said Horton, ‘I tell you sincerely, my ears are quite keen and I heard [them] quite clearly. I *know* there’s a person down there. And, what’s more, quite likely there’s two. Even three. Even four.‘”
Telling Chris's story is the least I can do. Thank you for reading and appreciating it. <3
I loved this profile and getting to know Chris, Elizabeth. So many wonderful lines and points of perspective. I really appreciate that your delivery is really neutral, too. This really struck me in one particular spot, something that was left, as he shared it.... Beautifully done. I love that you take time to learn and listen to these stories and then share them.
Thank you, Amy. You are a keen observer. I have a strong tendency to layer my own perceptions and lessons onto everything. And while I think that's human nature, with a place and purpose for me, in this instance, I felt Chris should stand on his own. I really appreciate knowing that it read that way for you.
I wonder how many of us have known someone for days and weeks and years and never stopped to ask the questions needed to paint this kind of portrait. Love this and love how much thought and care went into its creation!
I think that's the norm, really. It's a matter of time and trust, neither of which can be taken lightly. I'm lucky that there was enough of both in this instance. It means a lot, though, for you to acknowledge the effort and the value, for consideration across all of our interactions. More than anything, I'm glad you loved it. Love being a pretty great anchor for pretty much everything, that is. 😊
What a wonderful profile, Elizabeth. I very much enjoyed “ meeting” Chris. His relationship with his mom, his clarity and openness came through so beautifully. Thank you for sharing him.
Ah, clarity. I'm thrilled and relieved to know you saw that. I wanted so much to do that part of him justice. Thanks for taking part in the meet-up, Holly. 😊
My goodness. What gifts. Three of them: 1) the gift of getting to know someone like Chris, who is everywhere in many forms 2) the gift of your essay (and the gifts you got in spades to meet people with gentle, genuine curiousity) and 3) the gift of all these comments, how your stories make us think and invite us to share. Thank you thank you thank you.
Stewart, it is such a pleasure to connect with your and others' thinking. That is a significant part of why I write here! Grateful for your time and attention, and for such a generous comment.
Wonderful! Thanks, Elizabeth! I met Chris recently and it is heart warming to see him featured in your page.
I'm glad to know you've crossed paths with him outside of the page. He's a good'un. Thanks for reading.
Oh, gosh, wow. Thank you so much for introducing me to Chris - what a fascinating guy; a great story - so much heart, soul, life, history - ahhhhhhhhhhhh! I adore every post in this series. A sheer treat of a read, Elizabeth. xxx
I'm not sure if that "ahhh" is a squeal or a sigh, but I'll take either as a sign of having done right by Chris. :) Thanks so much for reading, commenting, and appreciating what he has to offer our world.
‘Twas a happy sigh! I love your writing. ❤️
just perfect - thank you
Thank YOU, Christy. It's great to see you here.