I love this! It amazes me that my friends and I regularly spent whole days running around outside unsupervised as 4-year olds, but we did. (My parents didn't worry because we had a Lab who would nudge me off the road when I wandered into it! No sidewalks where we lived.) My kids spent the first half of their childhood living on a creek in a small mountain community, having experiences much like those of your kids. They are similarly independent and adventurous now. I feel so fortunate that we were able to give them the childhood they had.
A lab as babysitter -- how phenomenal is that?! Like you, I will never stop feeling a bit awestruck at the gift of being able to raise my children in an environment like what we had on the farm. Yes, it could be said that I sacrificed a more traditional career and that my bank account will never recover. But I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world. Thanks, Rita, for reading and commenting.
I love this so much! I wish our girls grew up here. We bought our house in Claiborne in 1995 when they were still in elementary school. Back then, we were only "weekenders". I still remember how much more "free" they were in Claiborne than in Arlington. Such a wonderful place to grow up.
Conversely, there were times when we took the kids to D.C. and had to teach them why it wasn't okay to wander so many paces ahead of the grown-ups. Your girls are amazing, Susanne. We all do the best we can with what we are given. But yes, here is wonderful. Thanks so much for the comment.
Yes! I think about this a lot. I grew up in Urbana, Illinois, a university town of about 100,000, in the 1960s and '70s. Both parents worked and we had keys for when we got home before they did. We'd roam all over town, the campus, and even corn fields on our bikes, and our parents had no idea where we were. What I can't remember is how we always managed to get home in time for dinner. In the summer, we'd go out again after that and were supposed to be in by dark, but we never were. There was always the insistence, "It wasn't dark yet!" — and when we got watches, we'd set them back so we could come in later. As if that would fool our parents. ;-) Nothing bad ever happened; the worst thing was that we'd get bored and have to think of something to do. I often wonder if kids in Urbana still live at all this way. I mean, you can do a lot there without having to be driven places, and it's still a relatively small city.
Funny, the thought of how we knew what time to go home. Maybe an older kid wore a watch? Or maybe our stomachs called us in? Like you, I have no idea! I spoke yesterday with a woman who is about the age of my kids (a little younger, maybe) who grew up on a farm and was homeschooled, like ours were. It sounded like her childhood wasn't too different, but I don't know about the next generation. Cell phones have changed the game quite a lot on that score. Thanks for the comment, Rosana. Fun to reflect with you.
Yes, our three girls would be out with the other neighborhood kids all day. I’m grateful that where we lived made that possible. I think parents are more protective now because they have to be. The world has changed.
I think about that, Suzanne -- the "because they have to be" part. I know the Atlantic article is a decade old now, so perhaps it's entirely out of date. But at the time, the fears around crimes that might affect children were out of keeping with statistics. ("Overall, crimes against children have been declining, in keeping with the general crime drop since the ’90s. A child from a happy, intact family who walks to the bus stop and never comes home is still a singular tragedy, not a national epidemic.") And, I've appreciated these TED talks that remind me that our sense of how terrible things are could be mostly a perception:
Isn't it the best thing ever?! Officially, it's called an "adventure playground," and I suspect there are families who wouldn't dream of letting their children play there! Thanks for the comment, Erica.
We grew up in the city, with a very large backyard with animals, turtles, dogs, cats, chickens, ducks, birds and very tall trees. Then on weekends and school vacations, we lived in a country place and that was very rural, with woods, ponds, mattresses stuffed with corn husks and lots of freedom. I love my place in the Eastern Shore because it reminds me a little bit of childhood.
The freedom oc our childhood back in the day! A freedom I actually let my kids have when we would stay with my mum and dad in the family coastal cottage. Up at the crack of dawn, out and gone till dinner with no worries of stranger danger, no bike helmets and no lifejackets.
There was a broken bone each for the children and my son fell overboard from the bow on a rubber ducky and his friend accidentally drove over the top of him cutting his head badly. But he survived and its an oft-told story.
Now he has his own son, an only child and he and his wife are trying so hard not to be helicopter parents. Living on a 500 acre farm helps and there's always Nanny's and Pa's house on the coast. But strangers ARE danger now and there are more entitled mad drivers and awful teenagers who delight in bullying. We love that the little fella has a huge imagination that includes games with his friends when he's with them.
The world has changed and we all try our hardest to let him live out his precious innocence every day. Life will intrude soon enough.
My brothers, especially the middle one, absorbed the most significant accidents in my childhood. Glad none of what your kids went through had lasting effects. And I'm sure your grandson is overjoyed at having access to so much land, plus Nanny and Pa nearby. (Btw, I called one of my grandmothers "Nanny.") When/if you have a chance, take a look at the TED links I shared in a comment below. I wonder how much of the changed world is real and how much is perception, the product of news that spreads and sells. I'd have to dig a bit deeper for more current statistics.
I've taken a moment and watched them, Elizabeth and it was really food for thought.
I think that media of all kinds are responsible for the general perception we have that the world has deteriorated. Headlines and horrendous images ad nauseum are bound to have a kickback.
I would also like to have a clear idea of the ages of people surveyed over the years because I think that as we age, we have the propensity to view backward with rose-tinted glasses, glossing over the difficulties of the past.
Human nature has two ways of dealing with things, doesn't it? We either react to the bad to the point of suffering, or we move onward, ever skipping through the tulips. Else how would the human race survive? I'm being a little facetious and over-simplistic perhaps but its a fair question. Is that what life comes down to?
Thank you so much for those links. It prompts me again to keep my goalposts close and focus as much as I can on my family and my circle. Mentally for me it makes life sustainable.
The upshot is that I had the privilege of a safe and happy childhood, and my kids did, too. t, I try to not take that for granted. We all know that the opposite occurs far too often! Grateful for your comments, Prue. Keeping goalposts close seems like the right approach.
I love that our kids had the privilege of being free-range, although in my case, it tended more toward feral. LOL! I am oh so grateful you're here, Roe.
We grew up with a fairly big wild garden, and would spend nearly all of our time outside. Outside of school we didn't have the opportunity to play with other children, so it would be just me and my brother interacting with each other and the animals. He and I would be climbing trees, playing hide and seek, digging holes, catching frogs.... Everything about it all was absolutely fantastic. Your post takes me right back!
I think of it as a lifestyle more likely to occur in rural areas, but I've heard about the city version, as well, with kids who learned to navigate buses and subways on their own at very young ages. It was a gift, for sure, one I try to not take for granted. Thanks, Rebecca!
I love this! It amazes me that my friends and I regularly spent whole days running around outside unsupervised as 4-year olds, but we did. (My parents didn't worry because we had a Lab who would nudge me off the road when I wandered into it! No sidewalks where we lived.) My kids spent the first half of their childhood living on a creek in a small mountain community, having experiences much like those of your kids. They are similarly independent and adventurous now. I feel so fortunate that we were able to give them the childhood they had.
A lab as babysitter -- how phenomenal is that?! Like you, I will never stop feeling a bit awestruck at the gift of being able to raise my children in an environment like what we had on the farm. Yes, it could be said that I sacrificed a more traditional career and that my bank account will never recover. But I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world. Thanks, Rita, for reading and commenting.
I love this so much! I wish our girls grew up here. We bought our house in Claiborne in 1995 when they were still in elementary school. Back then, we were only "weekenders". I still remember how much more "free" they were in Claiborne than in Arlington. Such a wonderful place to grow up.
Conversely, there were times when we took the kids to D.C. and had to teach them why it wasn't okay to wander so many paces ahead of the grown-ups. Your girls are amazing, Susanne. We all do the best we can with what we are given. But yes, here is wonderful. Thanks so much for the comment.
Yes! I think about this a lot. I grew up in Urbana, Illinois, a university town of about 100,000, in the 1960s and '70s. Both parents worked and we had keys for when we got home before they did. We'd roam all over town, the campus, and even corn fields on our bikes, and our parents had no idea where we were. What I can't remember is how we always managed to get home in time for dinner. In the summer, we'd go out again after that and were supposed to be in by dark, but we never were. There was always the insistence, "It wasn't dark yet!" — and when we got watches, we'd set them back so we could come in later. As if that would fool our parents. ;-) Nothing bad ever happened; the worst thing was that we'd get bored and have to think of something to do. I often wonder if kids in Urbana still live at all this way. I mean, you can do a lot there without having to be driven places, and it's still a relatively small city.
Funny, the thought of how we knew what time to go home. Maybe an older kid wore a watch? Or maybe our stomachs called us in? Like you, I have no idea! I spoke yesterday with a woman who is about the age of my kids (a little younger, maybe) who grew up on a farm and was homeschooled, like ours were. It sounded like her childhood wasn't too different, but I don't know about the next generation. Cell phones have changed the game quite a lot on that score. Thanks for the comment, Rosana. Fun to reflect with you.
Yes, our three girls would be out with the other neighborhood kids all day. I’m grateful that where we lived made that possible. I think parents are more protective now because they have to be. The world has changed.
I think about that, Suzanne -- the "because they have to be" part. I know the Atlantic article is a decade old now, so perhaps it's entirely out of date. But at the time, the fears around crimes that might affect children were out of keeping with statistics. ("Overall, crimes against children have been declining, in keeping with the general crime drop since the ’90s. A child from a happy, intact family who walks to the bus stop and never comes home is still a singular tragedy, not a national epidemic.") And, I've appreciated these TED talks that remind me that our sense of how terrible things are could be mostly a perception:
(2019) https://youtu.be/sNRO0B3YB9k
(2017) https://youtu.be/yCm9Ng0bbEQ
Have a listen, when you have a few moments. I'd love to know what you think! Thanks so much for reading and commenting today.
I loved The land... great way to grow up!
Isn't it the best thing ever?! Officially, it's called an "adventure playground," and I suspect there are families who wouldn't dream of letting their children play there! Thanks for the comment, Erica.
Yep. I bet not and yet it reminds me of my adventures in our semi wild playgrounds, quite unsupervised!
What did semi-wild look like in Brazil?
We grew up in the city, with a very large backyard with animals, turtles, dogs, cats, chickens, ducks, birds and very tall trees. Then on weekends and school vacations, we lived in a country place and that was very rural, with woods, ponds, mattresses stuffed with corn husks and lots of freedom. I love my place in the Eastern Shore because it reminds me a little bit of childhood.
Oh my gosh!
The freedom oc our childhood back in the day! A freedom I actually let my kids have when we would stay with my mum and dad in the family coastal cottage. Up at the crack of dawn, out and gone till dinner with no worries of stranger danger, no bike helmets and no lifejackets.
There was a broken bone each for the children and my son fell overboard from the bow on a rubber ducky and his friend accidentally drove over the top of him cutting his head badly. But he survived and its an oft-told story.
Now he has his own son, an only child and he and his wife are trying so hard not to be helicopter parents. Living on a 500 acre farm helps and there's always Nanny's and Pa's house on the coast. But strangers ARE danger now and there are more entitled mad drivers and awful teenagers who delight in bullying. We love that the little fella has a huge imagination that includes games with his friends when he's with them.
The world has changed and we all try our hardest to let him live out his precious innocence every day. Life will intrude soon enough.
Sadly...
My brothers, especially the middle one, absorbed the most significant accidents in my childhood. Glad none of what your kids went through had lasting effects. And I'm sure your grandson is overjoyed at having access to so much land, plus Nanny and Pa nearby. (Btw, I called one of my grandmothers "Nanny.") When/if you have a chance, take a look at the TED links I shared in a comment below. I wonder how much of the changed world is real and how much is perception, the product of news that spreads and sells. I'd have to dig a bit deeper for more current statistics.
Grateful for your thoughts, Prue, as always.
I've taken a moment and watched them, Elizabeth and it was really food for thought.
I think that media of all kinds are responsible for the general perception we have that the world has deteriorated. Headlines and horrendous images ad nauseum are bound to have a kickback.
I would also like to have a clear idea of the ages of people surveyed over the years because I think that as we age, we have the propensity to view backward with rose-tinted glasses, glossing over the difficulties of the past.
Human nature has two ways of dealing with things, doesn't it? We either react to the bad to the point of suffering, or we move onward, ever skipping through the tulips. Else how would the human race survive? I'm being a little facetious and over-simplistic perhaps but its a fair question. Is that what life comes down to?
Thank you so much for those links. It prompts me again to keep my goalposts close and focus as much as I can on my family and my circle. Mentally for me it makes life sustainable.
And then there's this: https://slate.com/business/2022/04/old-enough-netflix-do-japanese-parents-really-send-toddlers-on-errands.html (Sorry I keep giving you more stuff to read/watch!)
The upshot is that I had the privilege of a safe and happy childhood, and my kids did, too. t, I try to not take that for granted. We all know that the opposite occurs far too often! Grateful for your comments, Prue. Keeping goalposts close seems like the right approach.
Thank you for the link!
so so good. i am forever grateful that i happened upon this tribe that encouraged and supported my choice to raise our children free-range.
I love that our kids had the privilege of being free-range, although in my case, it tended more toward feral. LOL! I am oh so grateful you're here, Roe.
Oh, just wonderful, Elizabeth!
We grew up with a fairly big wild garden, and would spend nearly all of our time outside. Outside of school we didn't have the opportunity to play with other children, so it would be just me and my brother interacting with each other and the animals. He and I would be climbing trees, playing hide and seek, digging holes, catching frogs.... Everything about it all was absolutely fantastic. Your post takes me right back!
I think of it as a lifestyle more likely to occur in rural areas, but I've heard about the city version, as well, with kids who learned to navigate buses and subways on their own at very young ages. It was a gift, for sure, one I try to not take for granted. Thanks, Rebecca!
Oh gosh, yes - I hadn't thought of such a lifestyle in an urban setting, Elizabeth - what a great point to make!