I love the way you name the importance of a name. I’ve only know you as Elizabeth. It suits you. I’m Vicki. Not Victoria. Vicki. My mother named me Vicki. After my great grandfather Victor (Jews traditionally name after someone who has died). I’m Vicki. With an “i”.
I'm so glad to know that about you, Vicki. I'm sure many assume otherwise. And, I'm sure you've done the name proud for your great grandfather. I've noticed that some people aren't as concerned about mistakes, their own or others' - but it's always been important for me. Thanks so much for the comment.
Right in the middle of your post, I started singing Jim Croce's, "I've got a name." I have no idea why I started calling you Betsy, except for those very personal and "closely working with you" years. It's hard to do much with my name but you have many name directions.. I happened to love all of them.... And if it's ok Elizabeth, I will continue to think of you as pre-20....my wonderful youth...BETSY❤
Perfect song! If I'd thought of it, I might have linked it at the end. I have no expectation that there will be a sudden rush toward Betsy. Too much history there, most of it good. Pre-20 -- my goodness! Sometimes that feels like yesterday, and other times like a very long time ago. I'm so glad for those times, and you, Barry.
Elizabeth is a beautiful name, my grandmothers name, and one of my top choices for a daughter’s name, had I had a daughter. I also share the name dichotomy, in my Cindy/ Cynthia worlds, which have lots of overlap and blur, with less and less boundary or definition. I just have to say, call me whichever you want, just don’t call me late for dinner! I tried to give my sons names that would not have nicknames, but then we find our way to terms of endearment anyway. I read in your comments love from those who love you as Betsy, and others who love you as Elizabeth, so a name that is all about the love has to be good.
It interests me that, traditionally, women changed their last names readily, but first names were there for a lifetime. I think I've always known you as Cynthia, so that seems right to me, and you are 100% correct - it's all about the love!
Oct 4, 2023·edited Oct 4, 2023Liked by Elizabeth Beggins
"I am every obstacle I've overcome...." How beautiful, Elizabeth. I think of the Biblical name Israel, loosely translated "one who struggles with God." Israel never fully shook off his original name, Jacob, loosely translated "heel holder, supplanter, (usurper)." We are what we overcome if we dare wrestle with angels, but that struggle never ends. Though my birth certificate states Gwendoline Warner Williams, I was named "Wendy"...not a diminutive of Gwendoline, but for my mother's favorite character from Peter Pan, Wendy, mother to lost boys. At age seven I began my own name change journey. I hated "Wendy". Mostly, I wanted to be Warner, which means armed guard or protector. I liked this...needed this at the time. Warner is the surname of my maternal grandfather, a kind and generous, self-made man. A man & myth who'd passed suddenly when I was five. Part of me felt I was reclaiming my birthright. Going away to college sealed the deal. There I became G Warner. I retained the "G". Rejecting Gwendoline entirely felt disrespectful to my namesake (Welsh grandmother). But Gwendoline (fair, blessed ring) felt way too "damsel-in-distress-waiting-to-be-swept-off-her-feet". This embarrassed me. Yet, if I'm honest, there is that part. So, I keep the G. A secret hidden in plain sight. But what of Wendy? I've spent the last 10 years working with incarcerated and formerly incarcerated men. Men looking to realize their true potential. Men who were once lost boys. Clearly Wendy never left. (Interestingly, many/most of these men adopted new names.) Names are powerful and prophetic. Sorry to ramble, Elizabeth...but you struck a chord. Thank you.
This is potent, G Warner, and I'm so glad you were inspired to share it. That you feel empowered by your ancestors with the names you use means you are tapping into a resource that might otherwise be hidden. I think that's truly wonderful! And, I love that you are making space, and making peace, with all of them. Beautiful reflections.
I sometimes use "E" to sign off on an email. I've use it when I'm ready to sidestep all the extra letters. I've also been known to sign "E" when I'm thinking of myself as Elizabeth but know that the person on the other end still uses Betsy. It's a compromise. If I've read Alan Watts's essay, it's not coming to mind just now, but I will seek it out. Very much appreciate these thoughts, Stewart (and, of course, there are thoughts of Busy, with her very targeted nickname!).
Elizabeth, as per, you took me right through a wonderful life with well chosen words to describe your experience. Whilst I actually love the name Elizabeth, my favourite of yours in Lil Bit. What a lovely sight it presents as you toddle around house and garden!
Mind you, love Betsy too - it implies a best friend steadfastness of many years standing and I bet there's plenty here who will attest to that friendship.
I'm Prue, short for Prudence, and Mum and Dad, my god-aunt and my favourite cousin used to call me Prudie. I hate Prudence, hate it even more when in a doctor's/dentist's surgery they call out 'Pruuuudence...' It sounds so affected and one feels so pedantic when one asks not to be called Prudence but Prue. Sigh.
But Mum and Dad also called me Blossom and Bloss (never publicly) and I passed those nicknames at times of affection, onto my daughter because a rose by any other name is still a rose.
This thread has been so interesting. All the emotion, the history, the stories that come with our reactions... I love the name Prudence. Of course it puts me in mind of the Beatles, but also of long walks in the countryside, and contemplative moments at the seaside, both of which seem to fit you perfectly. Prudie is fun, too, but Blossom and Bloss -- my heart! Thank you so much
What a lovely read. It's amazing the power of a name. My first name, Paula, doesn't lend itself to nicknames, one of my peeves about my name. My identity, however, has been tied to my last name for much of my life. Married at 19, I changed my last name. Divorced at 23 because he liked his old girlfriend better, I defiantly kept his last name. When I married again, I changed it because it would have been weird to bring dh #1 into marriage #2. Twenty years later, when that marriage imploded, I went back to my maiden name. In part because I wanted to redefine myself, in part because I have no brothers or no cousins to carry on that name. As I've created a professional identity, it's like my maiden name is the me I've been all the time. I'm in a serious realtionship again in which there have been rumblings and rumors of marriage. I won't change my name again and he's quite agreed that I shouldn't. I still wish I had a nickname though.
Knowing what I know about you, Paula, I think you are wise to hold onto your maiden name, for all the reasons you name, and because the world is not what it was 20+ years ago. Women have more cause and/or motivation to assert ourselves these days.
I'm game to work on that nickname thing together! How do you feel about Liz? 🤪
I also hated that my name didn’t lend to shortening. With one of my sons, we always used his full name, and I have found it interesting to watch him as a young adult claiming a short version as he moves into his own. Names have so much to do with how we see ourselves. I love the final moment shared with your mom.
I'm fascinated by the comments here from those who didn't have nicknames and wanted them. That would never have occurred to me! Names can hold such meaning. And, yet, I've met people (there are some commenting here, I think) who seem to not care one way or the other about theirs. Thank goodness we are all so unique!
Oct 7, 2023·edited Oct 7, 2023Liked by Elizabeth Beggins
Oh, this one hits home for me. These feelings are all too familiar! But I think what I've come to decide - or at least for the time being - is the conclusion you came to, as well. I'm so much more than my name, and at the end of the day it doesn't really matter what someone calls me because it's doesn't change who I am.
Agreed! But, I have to admit that I'm going to continue to hold a little bit of judgement for those who ought to "know better." If you're in a professional position, don't try to get chummy with nicknames unless you ask first. LOL! Thanks for the comment, Jac!
I can relate so much to this, on two levels. My daughter's name is Susan Elizabeth. I'm still sorry I didn't go with my first choice, Elizabeth, because I so love that name. But we didn't want her to be a Betty or a Liz or (sorry) a Betsy, and we knew it would be a never-ending battle for her to be, simply, Elizabeth. So we named her Susan and she became Suzy and later Sue. So as I said, I wish I'd stuck with Elizabeth.
I hated my own name, Ramona. I never used it growing up and I balked when I had to use it on my Social Security card. It just wasn't me. I'm Mona to friends and family. I didn't use 'Ramona' until I got into political blogging and decided to use my real name. I thought 'Ramona' had more clout than 'Mona' but I'm still uncomfortable with it, and maybe always will be. It's as if I'm two different women, and Ramona is the writer now. When I first began writing for newspapers and magazines I did use 'Mona Grigg'. At some point I changed to Ramona, again thinking it sounded more professional, I guess. So I have bylines now under both names. LOL.
I love this! I've noticed a few folks calling you Mona in your comments and have been tempted, myself. But without specific conversation about it, I didn't want to go there. And, if you're carving a niche for yourself here as Ramona, maybe I should stick with that. I find it a delightful name. Spunky and capable, like you, but that impression likely also has hints of Beverly Cleary's Ramona mixed in. Names do have a way of bringing up stories, don't they?
Oh wow. Finally catching up a little and reading this now. Though delivered SO much more eloquently, you are often OFTEN on the exact same wavelength as I. You will see this tmrw if you see my blog. I changed my mind over the weekend and went with a very condensed message, but at one point it was all about names and titles. Heart heart. (Oh, and I called you Betsy when we first reconnected over Diakonia stuff. I did so with some intention, thinking of it as an endearing connector to shared past beloved experiences, like when you were my camp counselor, or the friend of my sister. Adore that you ended with a soft Nancyism.)
Love the wavelength connections!! Congratulations on the new addition in your life - BEAU-tiful! I'll never give up Betsy for my 'back home' family and friends. Too much water has passed under too many bridges for that, and most of it made a sweet sound as it flowed. But, I have to admit it catches my ear by surprise these days. Thanks for the comment, Courtney. :)
My brother and I each have three-syllable names which we both use in full. I've never *been* a 'Becky', although plenty have addressed me as such over the years.
My brother gets ever so cross when people call him by the contracted version of his name. Because names are such an integral part of our identity I always try my best to call people by the name with which they've introduced themselves to me.
I remember meeting a lady for the first time. 'I'm Elizabeth', she said.
'Hello, Elizabeth, I'm Rebecca.' My friend went straight in with 'What are you, Liz, Lizzie...?'
"...I always try my best to call people by the name with which they've introduced themselves to me." This, exactly. And, I'm apologetic when I realize I've made a mess of someone's name by accident, so the converse is to be rather gobsmacked by the intentional condensing of Elizabeth (or any other name) by those who choose to do so. Probably a good thing there are those who don't seem to mind so much, but I'm glad you and I are on the same team. 🏅
I love the way you name the importance of a name. I’ve only know you as Elizabeth. It suits you. I’m Vicki. Not Victoria. Vicki. My mother named me Vicki. After my great grandfather Victor (Jews traditionally name after someone who has died). I’m Vicki. With an “i”.
I'm so glad to know that about you, Vicki. I'm sure many assume otherwise. And, I'm sure you've done the name proud for your great grandfather. I've noticed that some people aren't as concerned about mistakes, their own or others' - but it's always been important for me. Thanks so much for the comment.
Right in the middle of your post, I started singing Jim Croce's, "I've got a name." I have no idea why I started calling you Betsy, except for those very personal and "closely working with you" years. It's hard to do much with my name but you have many name directions.. I happened to love all of them.... And if it's ok Elizabeth, I will continue to think of you as pre-20....my wonderful youth...BETSY❤
Perfect song! If I'd thought of it, I might have linked it at the end. I have no expectation that there will be a sudden rush toward Betsy. Too much history there, most of it good. Pre-20 -- my goodness! Sometimes that feels like yesterday, and other times like a very long time ago. I'm so glad for those times, and you, Barry.
Elizabeth is a beautiful name, my grandmothers name, and one of my top choices for a daughter’s name, had I had a daughter. I also share the name dichotomy, in my Cindy/ Cynthia worlds, which have lots of overlap and blur, with less and less boundary or definition. I just have to say, call me whichever you want, just don’t call me late for dinner! I tried to give my sons names that would not have nicknames, but then we find our way to terms of endearment anyway. I read in your comments love from those who love you as Betsy, and others who love you as Elizabeth, so a name that is all about the love has to be good.
It interests me that, traditionally, women changed their last names readily, but first names were there for a lifetime. I think I've always known you as Cynthia, so that seems right to me, and you are 100% correct - it's all about the love!
What a nice story.
Thanks!
Tom
Thanks to you, Tom.
"I am every obstacle I've overcome...." How beautiful, Elizabeth. I think of the Biblical name Israel, loosely translated "one who struggles with God." Israel never fully shook off his original name, Jacob, loosely translated "heel holder, supplanter, (usurper)." We are what we overcome if we dare wrestle with angels, but that struggle never ends. Though my birth certificate states Gwendoline Warner Williams, I was named "Wendy"...not a diminutive of Gwendoline, but for my mother's favorite character from Peter Pan, Wendy, mother to lost boys. At age seven I began my own name change journey. I hated "Wendy". Mostly, I wanted to be Warner, which means armed guard or protector. I liked this...needed this at the time. Warner is the surname of my maternal grandfather, a kind and generous, self-made man. A man & myth who'd passed suddenly when I was five. Part of me felt I was reclaiming my birthright. Going away to college sealed the deal. There I became G Warner. I retained the "G". Rejecting Gwendoline entirely felt disrespectful to my namesake (Welsh grandmother). But Gwendoline (fair, blessed ring) felt way too "damsel-in-distress-waiting-to-be-swept-off-her-feet". This embarrassed me. Yet, if I'm honest, there is that part. So, I keep the G. A secret hidden in plain sight. But what of Wendy? I've spent the last 10 years working with incarcerated and formerly incarcerated men. Men looking to realize their true potential. Men who were once lost boys. Clearly Wendy never left. (Interestingly, many/most of these men adopted new names.) Names are powerful and prophetic. Sorry to ramble, Elizabeth...but you struck a chord. Thank you.
This is potent, G Warner, and I'm so glad you were inspired to share it. That you feel empowered by your ancestors with the names you use means you are tapping into a resource that might otherwise be hidden. I think that's truly wonderful! And, I love that you are making space, and making peace, with all of them. Beautiful reflections.
Random, non-sequential reactions/thoughts:
1. I've abbreviated your name to "E" in some of these comments. But in my mind I am thinking "Elizabeth." Just being lazy.
2. Speaking of dropping things like old names... how many other things do any one of us need to drop in the process of being our authentic selves?
3. So many people have name stories! Thanks for prompting our own reflections.
4. Had I been born a girl, I would have been Elizabeth.
5. Alan Watts has a lovely essay "Become What You Are." Your reflections bring it to mind.
6. Thank you, Elizabeth!
I sometimes use "E" to sign off on an email. I've use it when I'm ready to sidestep all the extra letters. I've also been known to sign "E" when I'm thinking of myself as Elizabeth but know that the person on the other end still uses Betsy. It's a compromise. If I've read Alan Watts's essay, it's not coming to mind just now, but I will seek it out. Very much appreciate these thoughts, Stewart (and, of course, there are thoughts of Busy, with her very targeted nickname!).
Elizabeth, as per, you took me right through a wonderful life with well chosen words to describe your experience. Whilst I actually love the name Elizabeth, my favourite of yours in Lil Bit. What a lovely sight it presents as you toddle around house and garden!
Mind you, love Betsy too - it implies a best friend steadfastness of many years standing and I bet there's plenty here who will attest to that friendship.
I'm Prue, short for Prudence, and Mum and Dad, my god-aunt and my favourite cousin used to call me Prudie. I hate Prudence, hate it even more when in a doctor's/dentist's surgery they call out 'Pruuuudence...' It sounds so affected and one feels so pedantic when one asks not to be called Prudence but Prue. Sigh.
But Mum and Dad also called me Blossom and Bloss (never publicly) and I passed those nicknames at times of affection, onto my daughter because a rose by any other name is still a rose.
You too...
This thread has been so interesting. All the emotion, the history, the stories that come with our reactions... I love the name Prudence. Of course it puts me in mind of the Beatles, but also of long walks in the countryside, and contemplative moments at the seaside, both of which seem to fit you perfectly. Prudie is fun, too, but Blossom and Bloss -- my heart! Thank you so much
for sharing your perspective.
What a lovely read. It's amazing the power of a name. My first name, Paula, doesn't lend itself to nicknames, one of my peeves about my name. My identity, however, has been tied to my last name for much of my life. Married at 19, I changed my last name. Divorced at 23 because he liked his old girlfriend better, I defiantly kept his last name. When I married again, I changed it because it would have been weird to bring dh #1 into marriage #2. Twenty years later, when that marriage imploded, I went back to my maiden name. In part because I wanted to redefine myself, in part because I have no brothers or no cousins to carry on that name. As I've created a professional identity, it's like my maiden name is the me I've been all the time. I'm in a serious realtionship again in which there have been rumblings and rumors of marriage. I won't change my name again and he's quite agreed that I shouldn't. I still wish I had a nickname though.
Knowing what I know about you, Paula, I think you are wise to hold onto your maiden name, for all the reasons you name, and because the world is not what it was 20+ years ago. Women have more cause and/or motivation to assert ourselves these days.
I'm game to work on that nickname thing together! How do you feel about Liz? 🤪
I also hated that my name didn’t lend to shortening. With one of my sons, we always used his full name, and I have found it interesting to watch him as a young adult claiming a short version as he moves into his own. Names have so much to do with how we see ourselves. I love the final moment shared with your mom.
I'm fascinated by the comments here from those who didn't have nicknames and wanted them. That would never have occurred to me! Names can hold such meaning. And, yet, I've met people (there are some commenting here, I think) who seem to not care one way or the other about theirs. Thank goodness we are all so unique!
Oh, this one hits home for me. These feelings are all too familiar! But I think what I've come to decide - or at least for the time being - is the conclusion you came to, as well. I'm so much more than my name, and at the end of the day it doesn't really matter what someone calls me because it's doesn't change who I am.
Agreed! But, I have to admit that I'm going to continue to hold a little bit of judgement for those who ought to "know better." If you're in a professional position, don't try to get chummy with nicknames unless you ask first. LOL! Thanks for the comment, Jac!
I can relate so much to this, on two levels. My daughter's name is Susan Elizabeth. I'm still sorry I didn't go with my first choice, Elizabeth, because I so love that name. But we didn't want her to be a Betty or a Liz or (sorry) a Betsy, and we knew it would be a never-ending battle for her to be, simply, Elizabeth. So we named her Susan and she became Suzy and later Sue. So as I said, I wish I'd stuck with Elizabeth.
I hated my own name, Ramona. I never used it growing up and I balked when I had to use it on my Social Security card. It just wasn't me. I'm Mona to friends and family. I didn't use 'Ramona' until I got into political blogging and decided to use my real name. I thought 'Ramona' had more clout than 'Mona' but I'm still uncomfortable with it, and maybe always will be. It's as if I'm two different women, and Ramona is the writer now. When I first began writing for newspapers and magazines I did use 'Mona Grigg'. At some point I changed to Ramona, again thinking it sounded more professional, I guess. So I have bylines now under both names. LOL.
I love this! I've noticed a few folks calling you Mona in your comments and have been tempted, myself. But without specific conversation about it, I didn't want to go there. And, if you're carving a niche for yourself here as Ramona, maybe I should stick with that. I find it a delightful name. Spunky and capable, like you, but that impression likely also has hints of Beverly Cleary's Ramona mixed in. Names do have a way of bringing up stories, don't they?
Feel free to call me Mona. All of my good friends do! ♥
😊
Oh wow. Finally catching up a little and reading this now. Though delivered SO much more eloquently, you are often OFTEN on the exact same wavelength as I. You will see this tmrw if you see my blog. I changed my mind over the weekend and went with a very condensed message, but at one point it was all about names and titles. Heart heart. (Oh, and I called you Betsy when we first reconnected over Diakonia stuff. I did so with some intention, thinking of it as an endearing connector to shared past beloved experiences, like when you were my camp counselor, or the friend of my sister. Adore that you ended with a soft Nancyism.)
Love the wavelength connections!! Congratulations on the new addition in your life - BEAU-tiful! I'll never give up Betsy for my 'back home' family and friends. Too much water has passed under too many bridges for that, and most of it made a sweet sound as it flowed. But, I have to admit it catches my ear by surprise these days. Thanks for the comment, Courtney. :)
I love this post, Elizabeth!
My brother and I each have three-syllable names which we both use in full. I've never *been* a 'Becky', although plenty have addressed me as such over the years.
My brother gets ever so cross when people call him by the contracted version of his name. Because names are such an integral part of our identity I always try my best to call people by the name with which they've introduced themselves to me.
I remember meeting a lady for the first time. 'I'm Elizabeth', she said.
'Hello, Elizabeth, I'm Rebecca.' My friend went straight in with 'What are you, Liz, Lizzie...?'
Long pause.
'My name is Elizabeth.'
Quite right, too!
"...I always try my best to call people by the name with which they've introduced themselves to me." This, exactly. And, I'm apologetic when I realize I've made a mess of someone's name by accident, so the converse is to be rather gobsmacked by the intentional condensing of Elizabeth (or any other name) by those who choose to do so. Probably a good thing there are those who don't seem to mind so much, but I'm glad you and I are on the same team. 🏅
😊