Maybe there's some comfort in knowing it's "not just us?" 😬 I do have to remember that there is a lot of unrecognized achievement, too. Complete dysfunction would result in a kind of chaos we've not had to know. So, there's that. Thanks for reading and commenting, Joelle.
Oh my. This brought tears to my eyes. So much horror. So much hate. Yet I go about my life not impacted, except for what I’m thinking and feeling. We need each other for the oxygen. Thank you, Elizabeth.
Thank you, Suzanne. And you know these feelings of overwhelm come in waves. For me, the wave often crests after tragedies like Maine. Peace will find its way back in. Until then, yes, I'm glad we have each other.
Beautifully said. I have been learning, and re-learning on a daily basis, the value of this alternative to hope. For those I love and support directly, and those across the world I long to help, too. At times, it really is the only way to find your breath. Thank you, Elizabeth, for the reminder.
It is an interesting and counter-intuitive concept. We are taught, above all else, to maintain hope! I think the idea of letting go fits best for me, but it's important to see how tying ourselves to particular outcomes can work against us. So appreciate you reading and sharing, Robin.
A courageous essay! You started with your own feet, and then opened up to embrace in the inventory of immiseration in the world these days. And then, by my reading, you ended with a breath, the centering moment, the Now from which our next actions and reflections spring. How to live, when faced with life? You got me thinking, again! How ever you manage to do this, thank you for keeping on, and for sharing with us. I have somewhere a photo of a brick wall in the morning sun, growing out of the side of which is a single, small, yellow snapdragon.
This is such a beautiful synopsis, Stewart. Thank YOU for further clarifying, for thinking alongside me/us, and for planting the image of that small, yellow snapdragon in my mind. If you find the photo, Stewart, I hope you'll share it.
Yours is the first response I read when I go to write my own grateful response for this prophetic expression of how I feel as I wake up to world events today. Now, with gratitude to all the soles and souls who share or have shared this precious air…
I am a Jew. For generations, I have not been ok. And right now, I am really not ok. Sometimes even on the outside - like when a friend at the Y asks if I am ok and I burst into tears. Thank you for voicing the pain. ❤️
I'm sorry, Vicki. Human mistreatment and persecution of other humans is beyond my capacity to understand, though I do find solace in knowing that there are so, so many others who feel like us. Sending you peace.
You've done a lovely job of describing the flailing that we are all doing whether we are aware of it or not. The denial of most humans to the impact universal external stressors is intriguing. All through the first two years of covid people would come to me with concerns about their physical health and when i asked them about their stress management they would react with an often indignant "OH, I'm not stressed at all".
We go about our daily lives- which, even at their loveliest include a lot of stress. We tick our boxes and make our lists, eat, drink, work, exercise, laugh, play, clean house, make love -because this is what we can do.....all the while knowing that crisis is hovering, heavily on our horizons.
Your plantar warts, my puffy eyes and blemishes ......our bodies and souls know the heavy is there.
Thankfully, plantar warts are not a part of my present, just a useful analogy drawn from past experience. But, yes - YES - the collective heaviness is real and is, I think, what sometimes brings me to this place of "not okay." Thankfully, I can almost always count on moving into a new phase once I finally acknowledge the one I'm in. Truly appreciate your comment and support, Kate.
No doubt, the more we feel...the more we FEEL. But, compartmentalizing only gets us so far. I think this kind of universal pain manifests in ways we might never imagine. Thankfully, universal kindness does, too! As long as we can find our way to it. Thanks so much for sharing, Mary K.
I’m with you in not being ok. And for the same sort of reasons. I appreciate your being so vulnerable as to talk about it, and grateful for the way you’re able to articulate it. It is comforting to know that there are others who share the burden. That’s partly what informs my sense of hope(when I have it), that we will get through this.
There is definitely comfort in coming together, whether it is for grieving or celebrating. I'm trying to see this as an opportunity to reframe. Letting go is not the same as being hopeless. Deeply appreciate your loyal readership and input, Darrell.
A beautiful and yet painful post, Elizabeth. The photo of the entryways… wonderfully matched. Wishing for some kind of lightening for us all. Seeing hope as entrapping…. ooof. “The alternative, they say, is to take stock of what is, to see it, acknowledge it, face the overwhelm, feel the pain, admit the fear, all while resisting the immediate impulse to change it. Gradually, with practice, we find our way. We learn to trust that a path will make itself clear. We gain the capacity to step forward again with more balance, less distress.” Though-provoking.
I am trying to think of it not as entrapping and rather as an opening, and an opportunity to discover where we are clinging too tightly. I'm so inclined that way that I must make daily decisions to recenter. When I'm holding on to national and global burdens, the effort is bigger, but the process is the same. Thank you so much, Amy, for weighing in.
I am aghast at the lack of compassion for anyone in this world, currently. Anyone - whatever their nationality, religion or colour. Australia fell so short two weeks ago, to my shame and disgust.
I don't care about people's religion or nationality, I care deeply about their rights to a safe life - WHEREVER they live.
When I wrote my Substack yesterday, I finished with one small heart and soul paragraph. I haven't published yet, won't till Saturday and then live in fear of who might be offended.
Damn it, what else can we do except be loud? I'm beginning to think that instead of cowering in the corner with our distrait, we need to rise up.
But then I've said before what a psychologist once said to me - 'Keep the goalposts close.' Trouble is that helps no one but me...
Thank you for treading through the dark stuff, warts and all.
I look forward to reading your Saturday post, Prue. It's so easy to be disheartened, but we both also know how to focus on what is right and good. My goal, when I remember to release what I should never have attempted to hold in the first place, is to do what I can within my sphere of influence. Writing is accessible to both of us, yes? Thank you for reading, and for feeling and caring deeply.
This is yet another appreciated example of your ability to create that “Yes, that’s what I have been feeling, but I didn’t (or didn’t make the time) to know how to express it”.
The hope versus acceptance tension is being stretched ever tighter as I am now obligated to wonder and worry about what world my 10, 7 and 2 year old hopes for the future will be living in.
I was heartened to have a conversation with my older daughter after this was published. Contrary to expectation, she did exactly what I often do here, which was to remind me of all the good we overlook when we focus too long on the bad. I'm glad we humans tend to cycle through our ups and downs on alternate schedules. Here's hoping our kids and their kids will manage to do what we, thus far, have not.
Yes, the tightness is the thing, Stacey - that's the right word for it. Here's a strange parallel: When we were on the farm and "harvesting" older laying hens was part of our annual routine, I went many sleepless nights leading up to the big day, dreading the process of taking the life of another living being. But, as a meat and poultry eater, I knew it had to be done, and on some level, I was glad to continue to feel the tension. Perhaps something like that applies here. If we didn't feel that tightness, maybe it would mean we'd stopped caring enough. Thanks for your thoughts.
Beautifully expressed, B. I'm not OK, either. And while I'm (so far) not dropping (m)any balls either, the thought of picking up new ones is overwhelming in a way it never has been before. Thank you for sharing.
That, too, for sure! A co-worker today wrote that she thought we should all "get a pass" right now. I know there have been other periods of history where the levels of unrest ran high and long, and yet the determination of many saw us through. Perhaps that's us now? Thanks for your comment.
I'm not okay, either. I'm so not okay I have a hard time articulating all of the reasons why, so I'll just latch onto your list. Most of it, anyway. (I don't have plantar warts, though I have had in the past.)
I'm frankly tired of repeating all of the reasons why none of us should feel okay. We're living through terrible times and we're exhausted from trying to make sense of them.
If only the right people would cooperate, we could end all of this. Every bit of it is caused by human cruelty, human greed, human ignorance, and/or human indifference. And we can't get through to them because they've learned over time to hate those of us who won't follow along.
I'm tired of fighting them. I'm tired of pretending that if we just magically come up with the right solutions we'll be able to turn them around. I don't believe it. They're as entrenched as we are, and neither of us are willing to give an inch.
I wish I knew what to do. I don't. I want to give up, yet I want to go on fighting. Talking about it helps, though it doesn't solve a thing. We're told that our divisions are the problem, but that suggests that our side--the side with hearts--must capitulate. Because we know the other side never will.
I'm not doing that. So I guess I'll keep talking, too.
Have you run across the No Labels effort to create an Independent Unity Ticket? It's fascinating to me, though I'm sure many would call it harebrained. I'm also new to the concept/group, so far from well-studied. Here's a link, if you want to read more: https://2024.nolabels.org/. Meanwhile, we keep doing what we can, right? I think talking *does* help, actually, especially when we seek opportunities to do that with folks we are likely to disagree with. What we lack are appropriate forums to encourage that. Social media platforms clearly aren't suitable! So, maybe that's a place to direct some energy in our communities? I don't know. It feels important to keep cultivating ideas of some kind, even though it's daunting.
I thought No Labels might be just the thing at first--what a concept!--but I've been having my doubts. Some shady things going on that need explaining. And I don't trust Joe Lieberman AT ALL. He has a long history of sticking it to Democrats and encouraging third parties. And that's the last thing we need for 2024.
Oh, dear. Thank you for that link. Political maneuverings are seldom what they seem, other than the fact that, anymore, it seems they turn sour more frequently than not.
Maybe there's some comfort in knowing it's "not just us?" 😬 I do have to remember that there is a lot of unrecognized achievement, too. Complete dysfunction would result in a kind of chaos we've not had to know. So, there's that. Thanks for reading and commenting, Joelle.
Oh my. This brought tears to my eyes. So much horror. So much hate. Yet I go about my life not impacted, except for what I’m thinking and feeling. We need each other for the oxygen. Thank you, Elizabeth.
Thank you, Suzanne. And you know these feelings of overwhelm come in waves. For me, the wave often crests after tragedies like Maine. Peace will find its way back in. Until then, yes, I'm glad we have each other.
Beautifully said. I have been learning, and re-learning on a daily basis, the value of this alternative to hope. For those I love and support directly, and those across the world I long to help, too. At times, it really is the only way to find your breath. Thank you, Elizabeth, for the reminder.
It is an interesting and counter-intuitive concept. We are taught, above all else, to maintain hope! I think the idea of letting go fits best for me, but it's important to see how tying ourselves to particular outcomes can work against us. So appreciate you reading and sharing, Robin.
A courageous essay! You started with your own feet, and then opened up to embrace in the inventory of immiseration in the world these days. And then, by my reading, you ended with a breath, the centering moment, the Now from which our next actions and reflections spring. How to live, when faced with life? You got me thinking, again! How ever you manage to do this, thank you for keeping on, and for sharing with us. I have somewhere a photo of a brick wall in the morning sun, growing out of the side of which is a single, small, yellow snapdragon.
This is such a beautiful synopsis, Stewart. Thank YOU for further clarifying, for thinking alongside me/us, and for planting the image of that small, yellow snapdragon in my mind. If you find the photo, Stewart, I hope you'll share it.
Yours is the first response I read when I go to write my own grateful response for this prophetic expression of how I feel as I wake up to world events today. Now, with gratitude to all the soles and souls who share or have shared this precious air…
I bow to all y’all.
Ah, thank you, Deb. We bow to one another, and we learn. So good to have you here.
I am a Jew. For generations, I have not been ok. And right now, I am really not ok. Sometimes even on the outside - like when a friend at the Y asks if I am ok and I burst into tears. Thank you for voicing the pain. ❤️
I'm sorry, Vicki. Human mistreatment and persecution of other humans is beyond my capacity to understand, though I do find solace in knowing that there are so, so many others who feel like us. Sending you peace.
You've done a lovely job of describing the flailing that we are all doing whether we are aware of it or not. The denial of most humans to the impact universal external stressors is intriguing. All through the first two years of covid people would come to me with concerns about their physical health and when i asked them about their stress management they would react with an often indignant "OH, I'm not stressed at all".
We go about our daily lives- which, even at their loveliest include a lot of stress. We tick our boxes and make our lists, eat, drink, work, exercise, laugh, play, clean house, make love -because this is what we can do.....all the while knowing that crisis is hovering, heavily on our horizons.
Your plantar warts, my puffy eyes and blemishes ......our bodies and souls know the heavy is there.
Thanks for putting it all out there so sincerely.
Thankfully, plantar warts are not a part of my present, just a useful analogy drawn from past experience. But, yes - YES - the collective heaviness is real and is, I think, what sometimes brings me to this place of "not okay." Thankfully, I can almost always count on moving into a new phase once I finally acknowledge the one I'm in. Truly appreciate your comment and support, Kate.
Beautifully said, Elizabeth. As I hear the young people here in Baltimore say, "I feel you."
And you feel all of us. We are impacted by it all because of how much we feel, I think.
No doubt, the more we feel...the more we FEEL. But, compartmentalizing only gets us so far. I think this kind of universal pain manifests in ways we might never imagine. Thankfully, universal kindness does, too! As long as we can find our way to it. Thanks so much for sharing, Mary K.
I’m with you in not being ok. And for the same sort of reasons. I appreciate your being so vulnerable as to talk about it, and grateful for the way you’re able to articulate it. It is comforting to know that there are others who share the burden. That’s partly what informs my sense of hope(when I have it), that we will get through this.
There is definitely comfort in coming together, whether it is for grieving or celebrating. I'm trying to see this as an opportunity to reframe. Letting go is not the same as being hopeless. Deeply appreciate your loyal readership and input, Darrell.
Thanks for expressing what we all feel. Peace and healing you.
The same to you, Manuel. I'd like to believe that when I'm able to offer expressions of joy, we can all feel that, too. Solidarity!
A beautiful and yet painful post, Elizabeth. The photo of the entryways… wonderfully matched. Wishing for some kind of lightening for us all. Seeing hope as entrapping…. ooof. “The alternative, they say, is to take stock of what is, to see it, acknowledge it, face the overwhelm, feel the pain, admit the fear, all while resisting the immediate impulse to change it. Gradually, with practice, we find our way. We learn to trust that a path will make itself clear. We gain the capacity to step forward again with more balance, less distress.” Though-provoking.
I am trying to think of it not as entrapping and rather as an opening, and an opportunity to discover where we are clinging too tightly. I'm so inclined that way that I must make daily decisions to recenter. When I'm holding on to national and global burdens, the effort is bigger, but the process is the same. Thank you so much, Amy, for weighing in.
Beautifully said, Elizabeth.
I am aghast at the lack of compassion for anyone in this world, currently. Anyone - whatever their nationality, religion or colour. Australia fell so short two weeks ago, to my shame and disgust.
I don't care about people's religion or nationality, I care deeply about their rights to a safe life - WHEREVER they live.
When I wrote my Substack yesterday, I finished with one small heart and soul paragraph. I haven't published yet, won't till Saturday and then live in fear of who might be offended.
Damn it, what else can we do except be loud? I'm beginning to think that instead of cowering in the corner with our distrait, we need to rise up.
But then I've said before what a psychologist once said to me - 'Keep the goalposts close.' Trouble is that helps no one but me...
Thank you for treading through the dark stuff, warts and all.
I look forward to reading your Saturday post, Prue. It's so easy to be disheartened, but we both also know how to focus on what is right and good. My goal, when I remember to release what I should never have attempted to hold in the first place, is to do what I can within my sphere of influence. Writing is accessible to both of us, yes? Thank you for reading, and for feeling and caring deeply.
I like this writing about hope...
https://www.themarginalian.org/2016/03/16/rebecca-solnit-hope-in-the-dark-2/
Both Rebecca Solnit and Maria Popova are brilliant. I look forward to sitting with this piece again very soon. Thanks, Darrell.
Thank you, Elizabeth.
This is yet another appreciated example of your ability to create that “Yes, that’s what I have been feeling, but I didn’t (or didn’t make the time) to know how to express it”.
The hope versus acceptance tension is being stretched ever tighter as I am now obligated to wonder and worry about what world my 10, 7 and 2 year old hopes for the future will be living in.
I was heartened to have a conversation with my older daughter after this was published. Contrary to expectation, she did exactly what I often do here, which was to remind me of all the good we overlook when we focus too long on the bad. I'm glad we humans tend to cycle through our ups and downs on alternate schedules. Here's hoping our kids and their kids will manage to do what we, thus far, have not.
I may be breathing but there is always that tightness in my chest, thinking of where we may be headed.
I am not ok either.
Yes, the tightness is the thing, Stacey - that's the right word for it. Here's a strange parallel: When we were on the farm and "harvesting" older laying hens was part of our annual routine, I went many sleepless nights leading up to the big day, dreading the process of taking the life of another living being. But, as a meat and poultry eater, I knew it had to be done, and on some level, I was glad to continue to feel the tension. Perhaps something like that applies here. If we didn't feel that tightness, maybe it would mean we'd stopped caring enough. Thanks for your thoughts.
Beautifully expressed, B. I'm not OK, either. And while I'm (so far) not dropping (m)any balls either, the thought of picking up new ones is overwhelming in a way it never has been before. Thank you for sharing.
That, too, for sure! A co-worker today wrote that she thought we should all "get a pass" right now. I know there have been other periods of history where the levels of unrest ran high and long, and yet the determination of many saw us through. Perhaps that's us now? Thanks for your comment.
I'm not okay, either. I'm so not okay I have a hard time articulating all of the reasons why, so I'll just latch onto your list. Most of it, anyway. (I don't have plantar warts, though I have had in the past.)
I'm frankly tired of repeating all of the reasons why none of us should feel okay. We're living through terrible times and we're exhausted from trying to make sense of them.
If only the right people would cooperate, we could end all of this. Every bit of it is caused by human cruelty, human greed, human ignorance, and/or human indifference. And we can't get through to them because they've learned over time to hate those of us who won't follow along.
I'm tired of fighting them. I'm tired of pretending that if we just magically come up with the right solutions we'll be able to turn them around. I don't believe it. They're as entrenched as we are, and neither of us are willing to give an inch.
I wish I knew what to do. I don't. I want to give up, yet I want to go on fighting. Talking about it helps, though it doesn't solve a thing. We're told that our divisions are the problem, but that suggests that our side--the side with hearts--must capitulate. Because we know the other side never will.
I'm not doing that. So I guess I'll keep talking, too.
Thank you. ❤️
Have you run across the No Labels effort to create an Independent Unity Ticket? It's fascinating to me, though I'm sure many would call it harebrained. I'm also new to the concept/group, so far from well-studied. Here's a link, if you want to read more: https://2024.nolabels.org/. Meanwhile, we keep doing what we can, right? I think talking *does* help, actually, especially when we seek opportunities to do that with folks we are likely to disagree with. What we lack are appropriate forums to encourage that. Social media platforms clearly aren't suitable! So, maybe that's a place to direct some energy in our communities? I don't know. It feels important to keep cultivating ideas of some kind, even though it's daunting.
I thought No Labels might be just the thing at first--what a concept!--but I've been having my doubts. Some shady things going on that need explaining. And I don't trust Joe Lieberman AT ALL. He has a long history of sticking it to Democrats and encouraging third parties. And that's the last thing we need for 2024.
https://www.npr.org/2023/11/02/1210211164/no-labels-democrats-republicans-third-party-2024-election-trump-biden-pelosi
Oh, dear. Thank you for that link. Political maneuverings are seldom what they seem, other than the fact that, anymore, it seems they turn sour more frequently than not.
It's both disappointing and maddening. If only we all really could get along. If only 'for the common good' meant something.