I love this! I find those questions intrusive and don't like the thought they could end up in some database somewhere. Don't they read like something a lawyer could use to our detriment? If an insurance company has access, I suspect why those questions are asked. :)
Dang, Elizabeth. Way to stick the landing. I didn't quite have to blot my own eyes, but there was a lump in my throat I had to swallow around.
I'm admiring your bravery in asking so many people such a potentially heavy question; I think I would be afraid to ask that question for fear of offending or making someone uncomfortable, but now I'm remembering that what most of us want is to feel seen and heard. You must have conveyed that you were truly interested in the answer, to get such honest responses. I'm thinking also of how I feel when a cashier asks me what my plans for the day are, when they clearly are not interested and are following a mandated script) I'm thinking also of an essay I read yesterday by Joshua P. Hill--"Who Killed the Social Contract?" (https://www.jphilll.com/p/who-killed-the-social-contract) and of an earlier piece you wrote about the potential power of us simply talking with each other. That's a lot of dot connecting for an early Wednesday morning, but I'm coming to expect that as a response to your words.
You don't hear "befouled" used nearly enough these days, lol, so thanks for that alone! A great piece and lots to recognize. I think what strikes me the most is the fact that someone (you) was actually *listening* to their answers. Many times people ask "How are you?" as they are literally walking away or not even waiting for a response. It's such a caring thing to ask and then genuinely listen. Well done, you. (Also, loved your response to the alcoholic beverage questionnaire haha, soooo true).
I'm surprised so many people said they aren't stressed; I feel like everyone is stressed these days. Between the state of the world and the ongoing saga with my elderly parents, I certainly am! And it bugs me that we're supposed to engage in stress relief instead of changing the systems that stress us so much. But I'm glad you found some people who aren't feeling it!
I was laughing a bit when I started to read your trials with modern medical forms - I’m still learning how to enter the verification codes that I need to enter from either phone or email, and not lose the original form I needed to enter the code to. I feel your frustration with our paperless,on the go, convenience (not)
Your deep humanity humbles me :that you bravely ask perfect strangers if they are feeling stressed ,when I’m just now getting comfortable engaging in conversations with strangers wherever I am , makes me a little stressed!! Thank you for being a wonderful example of what we as humans can do for each of our fellow travelers through life
SUCH a beautiful post, Elizabeth - thank you for this delight of a story - what a brilliant question to ask, and you're clearly a wonderful listener. I hope the tests show everything to be as it should be.
And therein is the lesson - there are always folk whose days are harder than mine. So I remind myself to take each day, each hour as it comes. It's hard...
PS: On various hospital visits I think I've been asked no less than 5 times before the procedures - name, birthdate, (all this when wearing an identifying hospital bracelet) why am I there (if they don't know, then I'm sunk!), what previous procedures (I'm 72 and it goes back to tonsils at 10 years) and what meds I might be on (stop the gurney, it's in my handbag in the locker!). By the time they wheel me to theatre or whatever, my BP is usually in the stratosphere!
I try to cooperate and do the early check in, but it seems I’m usually asked to fill out forms anyway.
Do I feel stressed? No, even when I learned I had lung cancer. It was removed and no further treatment necessary. And it was discovered by accident. It was out of my control. And I’ve been very fortunate to have been in good health and am in good health now. And my family is ok. If that wasn’t the case, I’d be stressed.
I don't think there is any way I could have done this.... I'm impressed that you did... and the answers, in all, are so heartwarming and grounded. I wonder if "stressed" isn't the word we use these days? A lovely experiment, Elizabeth. You probably made several people's day simply by asking and stopping to listen for an answer. (I saw you confirmed in another comment - glad things are well.)
Beautifully rendered page from your life, Ms Beggins. Just lovely. You must have a way of asking that question that invites reflection and reply.
I'm wondering: What are other, deeper, ways we can greet each other? How ya doing? is so pedestrian, but meets some need. Somewhere on earth (I forget where) the typical greeting is the equivalent of "I honor the god in you." "And I you."
I'm reminded, tangentially, of a quote often attributed to Philo of Alexandria: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." Thanks, as always, for the gentle thoughts and methods that are part of the kindness you bring to light, Elizabeth.
Really beautiful, thank you. And thanks for your Note that reminded me of your audio recording - it was so moving to hear these stories.
It also felt to me like your some of respondents talked more because they were curious about why they did or didn’t feel stressed at that moment- it’s a good question to consider, I think.
I recall the popular and eventually overused phrase “There’s an app for that.” As for stress, for better or worse, apparently there’s a gummie for that. 🤷🏼♂️
And they wonder why we all have high blood pressure at a doctor’s office, when it was just fine at home yesterday morning.
Your beautiful wordsmithing is making me feel so many things this morning. Thank you.
Such a simple question, glad you asked.
I love this! I find those questions intrusive and don't like the thought they could end up in some database somewhere. Don't they read like something a lawyer could use to our detriment? If an insurance company has access, I suspect why those questions are asked. :)
Dang, Elizabeth. Way to stick the landing. I didn't quite have to blot my own eyes, but there was a lump in my throat I had to swallow around.
I'm admiring your bravery in asking so many people such a potentially heavy question; I think I would be afraid to ask that question for fear of offending or making someone uncomfortable, but now I'm remembering that what most of us want is to feel seen and heard. You must have conveyed that you were truly interested in the answer, to get such honest responses. I'm thinking also of how I feel when a cashier asks me what my plans for the day are, when they clearly are not interested and are following a mandated script) I'm thinking also of an essay I read yesterday by Joshua P. Hill--"Who Killed the Social Contract?" (https://www.jphilll.com/p/who-killed-the-social-contract) and of an earlier piece you wrote about the potential power of us simply talking with each other. That's a lot of dot connecting for an early Wednesday morning, but I'm coming to expect that as a response to your words.
You don't hear "befouled" used nearly enough these days, lol, so thanks for that alone! A great piece and lots to recognize. I think what strikes me the most is the fact that someone (you) was actually *listening* to their answers. Many times people ask "How are you?" as they are literally walking away or not even waiting for a response. It's such a caring thing to ask and then genuinely listen. Well done, you. (Also, loved your response to the alcoholic beverage questionnaire haha, soooo true).
Beautiful. I'll have to try asking that.
I'm surprised so many people said they aren't stressed; I feel like everyone is stressed these days. Between the state of the world and the ongoing saga with my elderly parents, I certainly am! And it bugs me that we're supposed to engage in stress relief instead of changing the systems that stress us so much. But I'm glad you found some people who aren't feeling it!
I was laughing a bit when I started to read your trials with modern medical forms - I’m still learning how to enter the verification codes that I need to enter from either phone or email, and not lose the original form I needed to enter the code to. I feel your frustration with our paperless,on the go, convenience (not)
Your deep humanity humbles me :that you bravely ask perfect strangers if they are feeling stressed ,when I’m just now getting comfortable engaging in conversations with strangers wherever I am , makes me a little stressed!! Thank you for being a wonderful example of what we as humans can do for each of our fellow travelers through life
SUCH a beautiful post, Elizabeth - thank you for this delight of a story - what a brilliant question to ask, and you're clearly a wonderful listener. I hope the tests show everything to be as it should be.
Awesome. xxx
And therein is the lesson - there are always folk whose days are harder than mine. So I remind myself to take each day, each hour as it comes. It's hard...
PS: On various hospital visits I think I've been asked no less than 5 times before the procedures - name, birthdate, (all this when wearing an identifying hospital bracelet) why am I there (if they don't know, then I'm sunk!), what previous procedures (I'm 72 and it goes back to tonsils at 10 years) and what meds I might be on (stop the gurney, it's in my handbag in the locker!). By the time they wheel me to theatre or whatever, my BP is usually in the stratosphere!
I try to cooperate and do the early check in, but it seems I’m usually asked to fill out forms anyway.
Do I feel stressed? No, even when I learned I had lung cancer. It was removed and no further treatment necessary. And it was discovered by accident. It was out of my control. And I’ve been very fortunate to have been in good health and am in good health now. And my family is ok. If that wasn’t the case, I’d be stressed.
I don't think there is any way I could have done this.... I'm impressed that you did... and the answers, in all, are so heartwarming and grounded. I wonder if "stressed" isn't the word we use these days? A lovely experiment, Elizabeth. You probably made several people's day simply by asking and stopping to listen for an answer. (I saw you confirmed in another comment - glad things are well.)
Beautifully rendered page from your life, Ms Beggins. Just lovely. You must have a way of asking that question that invites reflection and reply.
I'm wondering: What are other, deeper, ways we can greet each other? How ya doing? is so pedestrian, but meets some need. Somewhere on earth (I forget where) the typical greeting is the equivalent of "I honor the god in you." "And I you."
I'm reminded, tangentially, of a quote often attributed to Philo of Alexandria: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." Thanks, as always, for the gentle thoughts and methods that are part of the kindness you bring to light, Elizabeth.
Really beautiful, thank you. And thanks for your Note that reminded me of your audio recording - it was so moving to hear these stories.
It also felt to me like your some of respondents talked more because they were curious about why they did or didn’t feel stressed at that moment- it’s a good question to consider, I think.
Super duper fantastic post. Thank you.
I recall the popular and eventually overused phrase “There’s an app for that.” As for stress, for better or worse, apparently there’s a gummie for that. 🤷🏼♂️