I believe you are tapping into something in the zeitgeist; this is the third or fourth piece I've read in the last two days on a similar theme. Sometimes I feel far too many of us have been talking far too much, and my response has been to want to go silent. That's feeling inadequate for the current moment. I so appreciate what you are saying here. I have more to say, but I need to let it marinate a bit.
I will add: This week I was you in that grocery store. I was on an airplane, and there was a guy in the seat in front of me. I took in his age, his race, his hair, his tattoos, the way he looked at my daughter (or I thought he did), and the way his body took up space, and I spun a whole story in my head about what kind of guy he was. Then, we had an actual interaction while disembarking the plane--in which he gave way to us so that we might be more likely to make a tight connecting flight--and I realized what I had done. I don't know anything about who he really is, only that I now don't know anything about who he really is. I didn't like what the whole thing showed me about myself.
I love the idea of the zeitgeist, Rita, and if I'm transparent I also love the idea of helping people feel seen and respected having a global impact through collective action. Sort of the civil discourse version of turning off lights during bird migrations. If you find yourself with more to share later, I'd welcome that. But I also understand that it call be too much to make room in our heads for everything.
As for the inner monologues about the strangers with whom we come in contact, I'm glad to hear yours had a more fruitful outcome than mine! Thank you for reading and thinking aloud with me.
Your closing words are spot on " I don't know anything about who he really is, only that I now don't know anything about who he really is. I didn't like what the whole thing showed me about myself." It's good to get a good shake up and get yanked out of robot mode.
Thank you, Elizabeth. It takes just a wee bit of effort to take a moment to connect with someone. Even just a smile can make a difference. And it can have a ripple effect. The book, One Smile, that I used to read to my first graders was about that.
One Smile -- I'll look for that, Suzanne, figuratively and literally. As someone who grew up in a time and place where politeness was drilled into me, the effort involved in interacting with pleasantries feels minimal to me. But I need to work on that next layer, for making time to go deeper, and on shutting off the ungracious bias-monster in my brain.
One of my guilty pleasures during my travels was stealing glimpses of other people’s passports at airports and borders. It gave me a way to see them as something other than a placeholder ahead or behind me, especially if I had experience in their countries, and knew a few words of their language. Combined with clues such as clothing, luggage, watches and jewelry, hair styles, and all the other little clues people give about themselves, I thought of all the connections I might have with them.
I guess I’m a plain old-fashioned people watcher and it is my way of feeling more at home in the world.
I think you are in good company when it comes to the people-watching part. My ever-inquisitive mom used to craft delightful fictional tales about things like what someone with a Michigan license plate might be doing traveling on a small highway in Virginia on a Thursday in February. I have a strain of that DNA, too. Where your version stands out is that you were looking for connection, not separation or superiority. I LOVE THAT!!! Sorry, shouting. 😄
OH YES!!! I also take huge pleasure in watching humans. Sometimes for the curiosity of their story, the fun of guessing and also, frankly, just because I find us all wonderful to look at, everyone so different physically and in their choices of personal expression through clothing, body art etc. Agreed , This part is joyful and an appreciation of our fellow humans rather than isolating judgement.
And it never fails to be reciprocated. Maybe it’s why I’ve always felt at home in the world. Why not, if you are amongst people who might possibly become one of your closest friends?
Even here at home in Idaho, our license plates tell what county we are from, so I always enjoy reading license plates, because there are a lot intrastate differences.
honestly, i was a little grumpy reading through the first bits of this. I've learned though, that each one of your offerings deserves to be looked at top to bottom and properly chewed on before it smacks you in the middle of your forehead.
Whether timing, universal energy, my ever growing acceptance of vulnerability- in this moment, in my world, I believe this piece to be the most impactful of all of your writings todate.
Thank you.
I encourage all of your wonderful readers to take advantage of the beautiful work that you did , the rabbit holes that you dove into and the resources that you've shared.
Wow -- what a comment! I'd love to know more about which parts brought up the grumpiness. I know it will not be a surprise to learn that I had my own perfectly timed affirmation of the theme of this piece today as well. So YES to universal energy.
Thank you so very much, Kate, for being willing to explore, and chew, consider, and reflect openly, and to then to deliver a handful of shiny gems in return. Big gratitude still doesn't seem quite sufficient. 💚
Oh my goodness sweet Elizabeth. How beautifully you write. My heart is undone. I hear you. My heart.. hears you. You have a beautiful and magnificent way with words. Grateful, my friend
I've sent it to those who matter in my life, espeically the next generation because I believe they feel overwhelmed by the negative odds perpetuated by the media.
But I live in a rural area whose population is scattered and numbers 500 out of season. We live insular lives and TBH, I really enjoy the quiet, the lack of chatter (that's what Substack is for...). Husband and self no longer watch TV news and grab a quick headline scan online before breakfast. Our anxieties have lessened and I believe we have more productive days. Just getting on and growing our food, with daily intellectual forays (him with consulting, me with writing) online. It feels enough.
I can't fight the rightwing or centre right out there. My fight has to be at the ballot box (we have a state election in 4 weeks - Westminster system) and I have to be big enough to accept whatever result. If I were to engage with folk here from my political standpoint, I would be branded a leftist greenie and probably have my fence smeared with unappealing epithets! Better to save it for my vote.
But I so enjoyed all the points you offer and agree with them wholeheartedly. I'm just a timid brown mouse...
Ah, Prue. I think your quiet life (out of season) is probably closer to what many of us need. Time and space to be free of bustle and competition. Like you, I avoid MSM. I haven't had a cable or satellite contract in 40 years, nor a newspaper subscription. I know some would call that foolish, heretical even. But I find the news I need -- or it finds me. I think, though, that I meant the encouragement toward outreach here to be about human connection, not so much about politics or taking personal stands for or against anything at all. That may come, as we establish relationships, but it is not where we begin. Just be you, and be willing to be you with others. Just like you already are. That's all. 🧡
I'm smiling at your feeling of being a little lost at first, Rebecca. True to form for both of us, and then somehow always finding where it is we weren't meant to be. I'm glad to know this piece brought you to a welcome place. I can picture you in your communities, making connections happen! Thanks so much for that.
Thanks for drawing my attention to this piece! You really combined a myriad of information and as always enjoy your view of the planet. Did you see my post TALK TO STRANGERS ? Our similar views are apparent for sure. I always do the random comments to people about their fingernails or hair or what great service I get at the Cambridge post office....whatever. I speak to everyone on my sunrise walks and at first they were surprised and now they're, well, better! 😆
I appreciate your positivity and the reminders. We good ones indeed outnumber the opposing force.
I believe you are tapping into something in the zeitgeist; this is the third or fourth piece I've read in the last two days on a similar theme. Sometimes I feel far too many of us have been talking far too much, and my response has been to want to go silent. That's feeling inadequate for the current moment. I so appreciate what you are saying here. I have more to say, but I need to let it marinate a bit.
I will add: This week I was you in that grocery store. I was on an airplane, and there was a guy in the seat in front of me. I took in his age, his race, his hair, his tattoos, the way he looked at my daughter (or I thought he did), and the way his body took up space, and I spun a whole story in my head about what kind of guy he was. Then, we had an actual interaction while disembarking the plane--in which he gave way to us so that we might be more likely to make a tight connecting flight--and I realized what I had done. I don't know anything about who he really is, only that I now don't know anything about who he really is. I didn't like what the whole thing showed me about myself.
I love the idea of the zeitgeist, Rita, and if I'm transparent I also love the idea of helping people feel seen and respected having a global impact through collective action. Sort of the civil discourse version of turning off lights during bird migrations. If you find yourself with more to share later, I'd welcome that. But I also understand that it call be too much to make room in our heads for everything.
As for the inner monologues about the strangers with whom we come in contact, I'm glad to hear yours had a more fruitful outcome than mine! Thank you for reading and thinking aloud with me.
Your closing words are spot on " I don't know anything about who he really is, only that I now don't know anything about who he really is. I didn't like what the whole thing showed me about myself." It's good to get a good shake up and get yanked out of robot mode.
It really is.
Thank you, Elizabeth. It takes just a wee bit of effort to take a moment to connect with someone. Even just a smile can make a difference. And it can have a ripple effect. The book, One Smile, that I used to read to my first graders was about that.
One Smile -- I'll look for that, Suzanne, figuratively and literally. As someone who grew up in a time and place where politeness was drilled into me, the effort involved in interacting with pleasantries feels minimal to me. But I need to work on that next layer, for making time to go deeper, and on shutting off the ungracious bias-monster in my brain.
Loved this article!
Thanks, Jacque. I'm grateful you're here.
One of my guilty pleasures during my travels was stealing glimpses of other people’s passports at airports and borders. It gave me a way to see them as something other than a placeholder ahead or behind me, especially if I had experience in their countries, and knew a few words of their language. Combined with clues such as clothing, luggage, watches and jewelry, hair styles, and all the other little clues people give about themselves, I thought of all the connections I might have with them.
I guess I’m a plain old-fashioned people watcher and it is my way of feeling more at home in the world.
I think you are in good company when it comes to the people-watching part. My ever-inquisitive mom used to craft delightful fictional tales about things like what someone with a Michigan license plate might be doing traveling on a small highway in Virginia on a Thursday in February. I have a strain of that DNA, too. Where your version stands out is that you were looking for connection, not separation or superiority. I LOVE THAT!!! Sorry, shouting. 😄
OH YES!!! I also take huge pleasure in watching humans. Sometimes for the curiosity of their story, the fun of guessing and also, frankly, just because I find us all wonderful to look at, everyone so different physically and in their choices of personal expression through clothing, body art etc. Agreed , This part is joyful and an appreciation of our fellow humans rather than isolating judgement.
And it never fails to be reciprocated. Maybe it’s why I’ve always felt at home in the world. Why not, if you are amongst people who might possibly become one of your closest friends?
Even here at home in Idaho, our license plates tell what county we are from, so I always enjoy reading license plates, because there are a lot intrastate differences.
This lands so gently for me. Warm. And filled with promise. Thank you!
honestly, i was a little grumpy reading through the first bits of this. I've learned though, that each one of your offerings deserves to be looked at top to bottom and properly chewed on before it smacks you in the middle of your forehead.
Whether timing, universal energy, my ever growing acceptance of vulnerability- in this moment, in my world, I believe this piece to be the most impactful of all of your writings todate.
Thank you.
I encourage all of your wonderful readers to take advantage of the beautiful work that you did , the rabbit holes that you dove into and the resources that you've shared.
Connection.
Wow -- what a comment! I'd love to know more about which parts brought up the grumpiness. I know it will not be a surprise to learn that I had my own perfectly timed affirmation of the theme of this piece today as well. So YES to universal energy.
Thank you so very much, Kate, for being willing to explore, and chew, consider, and reflect openly, and to then to deliver a handful of shiny gems in return. Big gratitude still doesn't seem quite sufficient. 💚
Oh my goodness sweet Elizabeth. How beautifully you write. My heart is undone. I hear you. My heart.. hears you. You have a beautiful and magnificent way with words. Grateful, my friend
Gratitude back to you, Linda -- sincere and full. So glad to have you in this community. 🧡
What a powerful Vimeo!
I've sent it to those who matter in my life, espeically the next generation because I believe they feel overwhelmed by the negative odds perpetuated by the media.
But I live in a rural area whose population is scattered and numbers 500 out of season. We live insular lives and TBH, I really enjoy the quiet, the lack of chatter (that's what Substack is for...). Husband and self no longer watch TV news and grab a quick headline scan online before breakfast. Our anxieties have lessened and I believe we have more productive days. Just getting on and growing our food, with daily intellectual forays (him with consulting, me with writing) online. It feels enough.
I can't fight the rightwing or centre right out there. My fight has to be at the ballot box (we have a state election in 4 weeks - Westminster system) and I have to be big enough to accept whatever result. If I were to engage with folk here from my political standpoint, I would be branded a leftist greenie and probably have my fence smeared with unappealing epithets! Better to save it for my vote.
But I so enjoyed all the points you offer and agree with them wholeheartedly. I'm just a timid brown mouse...
Ah, Prue. I think your quiet life (out of season) is probably closer to what many of us need. Time and space to be free of bustle and competition. Like you, I avoid MSM. I haven't had a cable or satellite contract in 40 years, nor a newspaper subscription. I know some would call that foolish, heretical even. But I find the news I need -- or it finds me. I think, though, that I meant the encouragement toward outreach here to be about human connection, not so much about politics or taking personal stands for or against anything at all. That may come, as we establish relationships, but it is not where we begin. Just be you, and be willing to be you with others. Just like you already are. That's all. 🧡
You are the best sort of mentor, Elizabeth.
Oh Elizabeth, I couldn't quite see where this post was going to be taking me, and then BOOM!!!!!
There, I'd landed right where I needed to go!
Wonderful words. And yes, I'm ready. ✔️
I'm smiling at your feeling of being a little lost at first, Rebecca. True to form for both of us, and then somehow always finding where it is we weren't meant to be. I'm glad to know this piece brought you to a welcome place. I can picture you in your communities, making connections happen! Thanks so much for that.
😘
Thanks for drawing my attention to this piece! You really combined a myriad of information and as always enjoy your view of the planet. Did you see my post TALK TO STRANGERS ? Our similar views are apparent for sure. I always do the random comments to people about their fingernails or hair or what great service I get at the Cambridge post office....whatever. I speak to everyone on my sunrise walks and at first they were surprised and now they're, well, better! 😆
I appreciate your positivity and the reminders. We good ones indeed outnumber the opposing force.
Thanks again.
J