Pointing in that direction
...on giving thanks and finding hope
You can feel it coming, can’t you? The most wonderful time of year, when families and friends gather, social schedules get a little full of themselves, and expectation sits down in the comfiest chair in the house, with a bowl of peanuts and a glass of scotch.
There is a kind of unified breath-holding, a girding of the loins, as if we’re all spooling up for a test of our endurance.
At the same time, despite the rampant over-indulgence that threatens to displace the sacred and sentimental underpinnings of these holidays, I must admit to also feeling a persistent tug toward tenderness. You can feel that too, right?
Most of us intend to be kind. We may not know how to let go of the cultural constructs that keep us from getting where we want to go—to simpler, less consumer-focused celebrations—but we are, nonetheless, drawn toward the heart. We’re reminded to be thankful. We’re encouraged to feel hopeful.
I imagine, sometimes, the transformative potential of this, were we able to tap into it more often. Some already do: the meditators, the healers, the ordinary philanthropists and humanitarians, the everyday heroes.
Research shows that in certain situations, human hearts and brains are inclined to synchronize: couples in bed, members of a choir, concert-goers, people holding hands. The connections have even been seen between those who are not together in person, such as individuals engaged in listening to the same story in different locations, or partnering in an online game.
Does this not, then, support the prospect of collective consciousness, the power of prayer, or the possibility of promoting healing beyond our physical and geographical boundaries? At the very least, it gives us a tool for operating, meaningfully, within our sphere of influence.
We may not see the impacts. We may not be able to bring about all the change we’d like to see in the world. But there is nothing to keep us from thinking it possible, from pointing ourselves in that direction, or from seeking synchronicity with the other beings on this planet.
A few days ago, I offered readers two prompts:
I am hopeful about the future because…
I am thankful for…
Many hundreds of people saw the associated message. From there, I can only assume that a somewhat smaller number considered responses. Another group sent comments to be shared here.
In truth, it was an intentional experiment, one from which I will never collect any empirical data. That’s okay. I already know it brought the results I anticipated. In response to a pair of simple suggestions, attention shifted. For a few moments, across a few days, our thoughts leaned toward gratitude and optimism.
I think that’s what this season is all about. From there, with practice, I believe we can get to the extraordinary places we all want to go.
Below, your collective voices--your honest, open-hearted, reassuring, curious, humble and inspiring voices.
I'm thankful for chances to correct myself and be a better person. The closest thing I can compare it to would be when things are not quite right on your phone or you can't get the internet to come on. Somebody will say ‘well turn it off and on to refresh it.’ That's how I kind of see this, what I'm most thankful for. Simply stated, I make bad mistakes and I'm thankful that there are those who love me enough to remind me that I'm showing my lack of faith and my unthankfulness. I'm thankful for being held accountable. ~Barry Osborne
I am thankful for my "chosen" family. My actual family doesn't live close by, but friends who do have become very much family…by choice. I am also thankful, especially given world affairs, that I have a roof over my head, more than enough to eat, a warm bed to sleep in and access to pretty much anything I need. ~Marcia Kirby
I am hopeful about the future because to my surprise I am enjoying growing into my middle years. I am confident not only that life still has a great deal to offer me but that I still have a great deal to offer life. ~Rebecca Holden
NB: Rebecca also writes on Substack at Dear Reader, I’m Lost.
I am thankful for my family and friends, although I continue to grieve greatly for the recent tragic loss of my church [through disaffiliation], as well as our organist and choir director [from a tragic accident]. ~Your Middle Brother
I am thankful for friends who love me despite my multitudinous quirks.
~Pamela Burdett
I am thankful for each new morning. What other resource fully replenishes itself daily? Every morning, I get a fresh opportunity to make decisions about how I can best live that day. If I didn’t live up to my expectations for myself yesterday, never mind—I can learn from that and work at it more attentively today. Dawn is overflowing with options and possibilities, welcoming me to wisely choose how to live the day ahead. As I briskly walk my pup to catch the sunrise over our village waterfront, I notice the birds that are busy at that time of day talking to one another, filling me with anticipatory pleasure to get into the day that awaits me.
~Sherry Schiller
I am thankful for my family and the family I gained from my husband’s children. ~Jacque Smith
I am thankful for tiny humans! I think, as adults, love becomes complicated. Naturally, we base our relationships around what we receive from others. Do they make us laugh? Provide us with love and intimacy? Further our careers? It’s biological to seek out those who help us feel good. But children are different. Sure, as they age, they seek out those same patterns. But in the early years, it’s not driven by an underlying expectation. They are curious and compassionate. They don’t judge. They find comfort in the smallest of things and delight in the world around them. They’re simple yet so incredibly extraordinary. I’m thankful I get to spend every day watching how three separate tiny humans love and receive love, with no obligations attached. ~Rachel Beggins
I am hopeful about the future because I have come through a stretch of months of sadness, a sense of loss and anger and true disorientation about my future, and found that I am OK. And that one door closing really does allow another one to open. It’s the process of getting a bit of the way down the dark hallway that can be hard, but the air and light come back eventually and so a new future starts to be made. ~Anonymous
I am thankful knowing that many people love and care deeply for me. (Also, I have a faithful Terrier, flannel sheets and a late-in-life second chance at love with a kind and handsome man!) ~Sue Sutherland Wood
I am thankful for having my 93-year-old mother here with us again this year for Thanksgiving and for all my family and wonderful friends! ~Susanne Scott
Thankful for YOU! ~Courtney Oates
NB: Courtney also writes on Substack at Flowers on a Tuesday
I am hopeful because I believe there are enough kind and thoughtful people who are willing to put themselves into the effort to overcome the challenges our nation is facing over the coming months. ~Darrell Parsons
I am thankful for God and all I have been blessed with. It is so easy in the chaos of the current age to forget how much I have. I have a family that loves me, both my biological family; my wife, daughters, son-in-law, all of my family around the country; and my church and work family. I am thankful for our home, both the house and the region we live in. I am thankful our bills are paid and there is money in the bank. I am thankful to be whole and to have purpose. There is much more, but it is enough to be thankful for all the blessings and not need to detail everything. Perhaps the coming year will bring more change and surprises but that will also be a blessing.
~Benjamin Wetherill
I am thankful for my partner, my family, and my community near and far. I'm thankful for all the people in the world who hold more love than hate in their hearts, who do the right thing as often as they can, and hold each other closely in times of joy or sorrow. I'm thankful that somehow, by some miracle, a handful of borrowed carbon atoms organized themselves into something called a "human" and began to stare back at the stars! ~Michaela Beggins
When my mother came back from the Saturday markets, sometimes she came back with ripe red persimmons, and she hid them from us, inside the pantry space, on a plate covered with a white linen napkin... Our greatest pleasure then was to know they were there, six of them, reserved for the six of us, as desert, and to steal them and enjoy them, juicy and red, way before lunch... ~Erica Weick
NB: Erica also writes on Substack at Semilinear Prose.
I think what I'm thankful for is what makes me hopeful for the future! I’m grateful for a new career with unlimited opportunities if I want them; good friends and community members who care about me and inspire me; and family who are alive and maybe not so healthy, but I’m hopeful for many more good memories together to cherish. ~Devin Herlihy
I am hopeful about the future because it seems like a better option than the cynicism that is a viable alternative. I listened to a podcast where hope was described as muscular. Hope takes some work. I believe that. Last evening, I worked in my studio and listened to an old interview with Thich Nhat Hanh. His words reminded me of our ability to continue to change the world one small thought at a time. Waking with anxiety is sadly, not unusual, and this morning it was there. A nagging non specific sort of knowing that the systems us humans adopted go against the sustainable ways of the natural world. Go outside. Listen. Let go. Say thank you. And then I remembered this prompt that my dear friend Elizabeth sent out and I was off, not writing, mind you, just seeing the world that has been created in my little corner through the lens of gratitude. Emptying the compost and bringing in wood for the fire felt sacred. I have been consciously unwinding my brain from the way it was wired. It's possible to shed some of the capitalist habits of consumption and align with a less "speciesist" approach. I practice seeing the plants, and trees, and animals as relatives. I try to give back and steward the land around me. I see healing happening inside me and in the land as I bring in more native plants and amend the soil with compost, grow food, medicinal herbs and support my local farmers. I can train my mind to remember what is possible, free clean energy created by panels on my roof. Abundance through sunlight. We have some solutions. I am grateful for all the people that forgive me for all my shortcomings and do my best to remember each of us is doing the best they can. I feel myself straining to grow deeper into being a loving presence. The land is helping me do that, she is patient, she's got time. The more I can allow myself to let go, the more I can show up and hold space for those around me. It's a worthwhile journey and most days I'm happy to be on it. ~Susan Stockman
I'm hopeful about the future because the only thing that is constant is change -- much stays the same but there are so many good people in the world, working hard for good things, that the collective force will bring change. Usually it's not the change we expected or thought we wanted...even worse, it's a change that is forced or put upon you. This world can turn on a dime - I have taught myself to be hopeful and most of the time it works... ~Margaret Enloe-North
In thanksgiving…
~Elizabeth
Thank you, Elizabeth, and Happy Thanksgiving. I’m thankful for my family and friends and for this amazing place we found to make our home. As if the natural wonders aren’t enough, the people here make a community of care and love that I am so thankful for.
A beautiful post, Elizabeth. I seem to have missed it during its original timeframe, but these thoughts and seeds of hope are not time-bound, and I found them comforting this morning. I love this idea, too: “Does this not, then, support the prospect of collective consciousness, the power of prayer, or the possibility of promoting healing beyond our physical and geographical boundaries?” -- It was really nice to read the compilation of gratitudes from your readers.... such thoughtful and heartfelt comments that you invited and inspired people to share! Your holiday photo is gorgeous.... and so warm.