Just like new

For a recent work event, I stayed in a new hotel. My room was on the seventh of eight floors. I found my way into the elevator and pushed the appropriate button. Nothing happened, so I tried again. After several more failed attempts, it finally rose to the top floor, paused for the briefest of moments, then returned to the lobby without opening its doors. At this point, I may or may not have let fly a few expletives. Seconds before schlepping my crap back to the front desk to get help, I noticed the puck-sized disk and its associated sign not even four inches to the right right of the main panel: Swipe key card for access. I figure hotel security personnel get their daily jollies watching camera footage of us silver-haired types struggling with technology.

We are so drawn to the commonality of mistakes like these that they’ve become meme-worthy. Type “I was today years old…” into any search engine to find post after post, and video after video.  There is a recurring, related thread on Reddit that has been launched, archived, and reposted for over a decade. The stories are alternately funny and astonishing, and they have a way of making you feel a little less foolish when your ego has taken a beating in a modern elevator.

On a rabbit trail, I checked in with some of my family. One brother learned embarrassingly late that cars have diagrams on the dash to point out which side the gas tank is on. The other brother found out, from his wife, that the pretty flowers blown into a cemetery-side ditch on a windy day weren’t real flowers. I remembered how my mother and I were driving past a golf course when she remarked on the stalwarts out there playing despite the messy weather. I told her I didn’t think I’d ever met the Stalwarts. For a while, one of my children thought pregnancy was the result of a bad diet. My mate discovered, not so long ago, why we really can’t use regular dish soap in the dishwasher.

We live and we learn. And, the best part is, that’s a good thing. In fact, science tells us we should be purposeful in our quest for new information and skills. By taking on unfamiliar challenges we build our brains, reduce boredom, boost self-confidence, create opportunities for future successes, and improve overall health. Do it daily, they say. It’ll be fun, they say.

The trouble is that learning new things demands energy many of us lack. Sure, we all know someone who thrives in uncharted waters - serial entrepreneurs who can’t wait to start the next venture, adventurers who climb mountains, jump from airplanes, and run marathons. But most of us, myself included, are creatures of habit.

To be clear, routines aren’t a problem in and of themselves. They help us get things done and reduce stress by making our lives more predictable. Patterns have their place, but it is novelty that keeps boredom at bay and helps us stave off the cognitive decline so often associated with aging.

Some changes demand a deeper mental dive than others. For most of us, learning to paint or to speak another language necessitates more brain power and commitment than taking a walk in an unexplored neighborhood or driving a different route on the commute home from work. However, both are worthy of consideration. The same applies to exercise. If you’ve been sedentary, moving your body on a regular basis is a good starting point. If you’ve already got a solid workout routine, consider trying a new class, video, or style. Resist old dog mentality; that kind of self-sabotage thinking simply isn’t true.

For inspiration, an example: My husband, Jim, has always been strong and energetic. He played team sports as a younger man, and his work as a furniture maker requires daily physical engagement. But, all that activity also has a downside. As with a lot of older things, his parts are now squeakier than they once were. The accumulated wear and tear of a lifetime means stuff hurts. Since his dream of a one-stop, head-to-toe, surgical overhaul is unlikely to happen, he has adopted a trio of interests instead: slacklining, unicycling (I’m not joking), and a mash-up of yoga and yoga-ish movements that are the mainstay of his daily routines.

It is the latter practice that inspires me most. I could go into great detail about the achievements he has made and the hours he’s devoted to it across the past four years. But, I just want to focus on the inversions.

Mr. Yoga-ish - February 2020

Headstands emerged first. Soon after, he was ready to try out wall-assisted handstands. His progress was slow but steady. Each time he reached a goal, he set a new one. He devoured and continues to pursue YouTube content offered by seasoned yogis, to help him refine his techniques. He’s an information sponge, with abs.

Now, he can hold himself in an unassisted handstand for a full minute. He can drop his legs into a tuck or straddle and move them back up again, without toppling over. He’s been working on pressing up to a handstand (a distinction from kicking up), and if I don’t miss my guess, he’ll have that mastered in a few more months. In addition to being infinitely more flexible, he’s also more relaxed, more communicative, and experiencing less pain than he has in years. It’s not a panacea, but it’s the best he can do with the resources he has.

So, what’s new in your world? Are you reading a series of challenging books? Are you launching a new business? Maybe now is the time to take that painting or computer programming class you’ve put off for so long. Or perhaps your most meaningful pursuit is learning to be still, to give yourself the chance to figure out who you want to be when you grow up. There’s still time to try.

~Elizabeth

My mother’s first effort at painting. She was in her late 70s.