Good sport

I stumbled across a bit of astrological wisdom the other day. It encouraged me to be bold, let my true self take the lead, and remember to ROAR! At first, I savored the call to action, contemplated ways I might apply that energy to my pursuits. I even copied the message into a group text to a few of my homegirls, a rallying cry for bodaciousness.

Then, I thought of Katy Perry. I can still picture her flame-themed costume and the enormous gold lion she rode into the Super Bowl Halftime Show while belting out her hit song, Roar. I thought about how disappointed I was by Maroon 5, and how Jagger’s moves didn’t really do it for me when the Stones took center field. Beyoncé, on the other hand, was the closest anyone had come, in my mind, to Prince’s masterful performance years earlier.

Recalling when any of those productions took place was an impossibility, but even bringing them to mind was more than I could muster for the teams that played before and after those halftime performances. I didn’t even watch the games.

Here is my bold, true self confession: I could not care less about football or, for that matter, most any team sport. It’s heresy, I know. Utterly un-American. You’re probably reconsidering your association with me this very minute.

—> Me, as a toddler.

Allow me to back up a bit. I’m not a card-carrying hater. I don’t think sports is “the opium of the people,” intended only to distract us from what truly matters, as Noam Chomsky conceives. I’ve been known to celebrate a win here and there. I was a UNC sophomore when freshman Michael Jordan sank a game-winning shot in the last 15 seconds of the NCAA Tournament championship game against Georgetown. With my roommate, I sprinted across campus to join throngs of elated fans swarming onto main street and painting each other blue. I cheered until my voice gave out that night. But, I had to google the details of the final play just now to remember the specifics.

It’s not as though I didn’t have ample opportunity to develop the part of my brain that missed the memo. Growing up, thanks to my dad’s season football tickets, home game Saturdays were spent in Chapel Hill, complete with tailgate picnics and ice-cold bleachers. At least I enjoyed the food. And, the cheerleaders.

Televised games watched at home were more numerous and more problematic. They included both football and basketball, as well as additional teams. Various family-of-origin allegiances meant some of us cheered for the people wearing light blue and some of us pulled for the the people wearing dark blue. The Yankee in the family was Switzerland.

On the professional front, we rooted for the Chiefs, because we’d lived in Kansas City for a time. I think I recall someone having a poorly founded affinity for the San Francisco 49ers. But honestly, I was out of my league the minute I moved past the college teams.

Regardless of who was playing, game times were sacrosanct, so I usually squirreled myself away in another part of the house. I could discern from the elated whooping or indelicate hollering how well, or how poorly, the favored team was getting on. After it was over, the mood of the menfolk was the only post-game commentary I needed to know how it had all worked out.

Fast forward to now. Once in a Carolina-blue moon, I’ll check in on the score of a championship basketball match played by my alma mater. If it’s a close game, I might watch the second half. Football, however, is off the list entirely. There are no team jerseys, no car flags, no office betting pools. I don’t stock up on chicken wings or guacamole. About four days ago, I looked up which teams will soon face off for Super Bowl LVII and chuckled a little when I saw one of the old family favorites.

I know I’m the odd one out here. (There are stats to back me up.) I’ve come to accept that my brain doesn’t work like most, and I mean no disrespect for the many who are wired otherwise. To prove it, I’ve put together a collection of lesser-known football facts to give you something to talk about when there’s a break in the action. If you can resist the urge to shove down another wing. Special spotlight on #10. Frankly, I didn’t want to believe it, but there it is.

I may or may not check out the halftime show this go around. I have to admit, I’m not feeling any love for the exorbitance of it all. But, if I change my mind, I can always catch the highlights later, on YouTube.

Ten Entertaining Tidbits for Super Bowl 57

— aka, X for LVII

1. Across his career, Gaius Appuleius Diocles, a Roman chariot racer, made almost 36 million sesterces, the equivalent of over $15 billion today. No other athlete has ever come close to that level of earnings. (Ancient Origins)

2. YouTube was inspired by the Janet Jackson|Justin Timberlake halftime show wardrobe malfunction in 2004. (CR Fashionbook)

3. Originating in 1964 at Anchor Bar in Buffalo New York, chicken wings became a Super Bowl staple due to the rise of sports bars and a marketing touchdown scored by the National Chicken Council. (NPR)

4. This year, the average price for a 30-second Super Bowl commercial is $7 million. For the first game in 1967, average cost was $40,000 (NBC Los Angeles)

5. The football huddle was invented by Paul D. Hubbard, a deaf quarterback who played for Gallaudet University. The purpose was to hide his signed play signals from the opposing team. (Fanbuzz)

6. The headline artists who perform at Super Bowl halftime shows aren’t paid a dime.  (Esquire)

7. Playing the Super Bowl takes a lot of balls. 120 balls, to be exact, all of which are made in small-town Ohio. (Wane)

8. A 2016 NFL Super Bowl commercial claimed that counties with winning teams experienced an increase in births nine months later. Scientists proved otherwise. (National Library of Medicine)

9. 24 million Americans are expected to miss work on the Monday after the Super Bowl (Business News Daily)

10. Sports fandom is good for you. Like, really good for you. (Salon)

~Elizabeth

Photo by David Köhler on Unsplash