Past 3:00 AM, cognition straining but valiant in its determination to lift heavy ideas off the ground, my quiet-enhanced tinnitus and the whish of the refrigerator out-maneuvering my thoughts with increasing frequency, interrupting the rain of fingers on keyboard, a spider appears at my right elbow.
No bigger than a lentil, not counting the legs, it pauses near the edge of the counter, probably sensing it has run out of runway. From the drawer within arm’s reach, I pull the ceramic lid to my now-everyday mug, a gift from a daughter, that keeps my tea temperature deliciously stable so long as it’s sitting on the magical electromagnetic disc.
I tink the lid over the arachnid, confining it until I can grab a larger container from the cupboard across the kitchen. Plastic pickle tub in hand, I rescue an oversized political postcard from the recycling bin and use the two tools to gently scoop my eight-legged visitor up and out the door.
I always wonder how that must be for the critter cruising across a cold slab of stone, a wool rug, a pane of glass, plan of action obliterated. But I take heart in returning it to the wide open world.
When I come back to my chair, Sanity speaks.
“This is crazy. You can finish another day. Go to bed,” she says, aloud.
I listen.
While I wait for sleep to come, I think about the tiny seed that hitched a ride inside with the air-dried laundry, how it parachuted in front of my face before settling on my pant leg, how even at such distance my breath caused it to glide across the wooden surface of the chest of drawers, where I captured it beneath a magnifying glass to get a better look at it later. I think about how, in the morning, I will let it go.
~Elizabeth
Hello, friends. This isn’t what I planned for you today, but it’s what emerged. I’m proud of myself for listening. Changing gears on short notice isn’t my best trick. What about you? Are you a regrouping wizard? A bug-releaser? A seed-saver?
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"I always wonder how that must be for the critter cruising across a cold slab of stone, a wool rug, a pane of glass, plan of action obliterated" Me too, especially in recent years, as I feel more and more like a small being existing within a world of large forces. I try to treat them as I would like to be if I were them.
I am a keeper of seeds, but as you probably remember, that spider would have been flattened by my coffee mug! That's a carry-over from my Mom and sister, both arachnophobes, and I am trying to do better! However, one small spider landed on my shoulder the other morning in my bathroom, heading down from a light fixture on his web, and I killed it in knee-jerk fashion right away, then felt bad afterwards. Oh well...I do rescue stink bugs, lady bugs, etc...but not the spiders~working on it!